Dear Readers: Some months back, I ran a letter from “Anxious Fairy Odd Mother” about discussing the existence of the Tooth Fairy with her young daughter. I responded that childhood holds too little magic these days; I’m a big believer in letting children build, maintain and enjoy these culturally based beliefs.
Responding to that letter, “Pragmatic Mom” said that she maintains a “no magic” policy in her household. She said that anything else was lying.
Many readers wrote in sharing their views and their family ethic regarding these beliefs. I’ve enjoyed reading them.
Many families seem to hit the truth wall when it comes to Santa Claus. But for me, the big guy in red is simply a seasonal affirmation of the beauty of generosity and the joy in giving and receiving. Kids understand this, and if we’re lucky, we adults reach back each December and retrieve a little of that magic for ourselves.
…
Dear Amy: Many years ago my perceptive 4-year-old asked why he should donate his toys when Santa brings toys to everyone.
I told him that for each child Santa brings one toy and fills their stocking, and the rest of the gifts are from their parents.
We also talked about how many parents aren’t able to buy lots of toys so we need to be generous to help those children have a better Christmas.
Every year after that, there was one gift unwrapped under the tree and marked from Santa, and the others were all wrapped and marked from Mom and Dad.
Our children (and now our grandchildren) still had the fun of asking Santa for something really special and finding surprises in their stockings, but this approach helped us all remember that the holiday is about helping others who do not have as much as we do.
– A Mom and a Grandma
…
Dear Amy: My mom told us that Santa brought the presents, but he sent her a bill after Christmas so she could pay for them. That way, we didn’t expect to get everything we asked for.
– A Childhood Believer
…
Dear Amy: When I read the letter from “Pragmatic Mom,” who doesn’t believe in “lying” to her children about Santa, it really turned my stomach. Keeping up traditions, such as Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, are just ways of communicating and sharing with your child in their world and in their language! Everyone needs a little magic. Magic is the root of joy!
– Believer
…
Dear Amy: As a student in elementary school, the other kids laughed at my naivete about Santa. I pleaded with my parents for the truth but got only evasiveness.
To put it bluntly, they lied.
If children cannot get the truth from parents, whom can they trust? A little magic CAN hurt.
– Santa Skeptic
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
