Dear Amy: My husband and I moved to Europe last year so that he could finish his education and medical residency. I left behind a job, a large group of friends spread out across the U.S., as well as my family.
Before I left, I set up a phone number with a U.S. area code so that my friends could reach me. Since we moved 14 months ago, my friends have called me a total of six times.
It costs me about $40 a year to maintain the number. I am tempted to send an e-mail to my friends, telling them that I am disappointed that they have not called me more. I need their support because I am extremely homesick and at times depressed. These women and I have been friends for more than 10 or 15 years.
I have made some friends in my new city, but the going is tough.
– Lonely
Dear Lonely: You might not fully appreciate how a five-hour time difference can trip people up when it comes to making phone calls. The local telephone number was a good idea that hasn’t worked out. If you choose to discontinue the number, you can let your friends know with a mass e-mail, but there’s no point in being punitive about it.
…
Dear Amy: I had a good friend in college who was always there for me – incredibly loyal but a bit of a loose cannon.
Her sister passed away suddenly and we became even closer. I did my best to support her during that time. When cleaning out her sister’s room, she boxed up several items and sent them to me as a thank-you. I was touched.
Later, after yet another falling out, I wrote her explaining that I was hurt by her behavior. She wrote back, saying to have a nice life.
Years have gone by and I have not heard from her since then, nor have I made any attempt to contact her. I am at a loss about what to do with her sister’s old items.
– Confused in Canterbury
Dear Confused: Write a letter to your former friend and let her know that you have appreciated having her late sister’s belongings but would like to return them. (Remind her of what some of these items are – she may have forgotten.) You don’t have to give reasons for wanting to return these possessions.
Include your phone number and e-mail address. If you don’t hear back after two months or so, then send them anyway. She can then choose what to do with these belongings.
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