Only 589 days to go until the Democratic National Convention opens in Denver on Aug. 25, 2008, and, man, there’s a lot of work to be done. Sure, by then chances are good the snow will have melted and trash in the city’s alleys will have been collected. But when it comes to rolling out the red carpet for 35,000 politicians, big donors, Hollywood celebrities, media heavies, protesters, street performers, petty crooks and corporate influence peddlers, it’s way past time to start panicking.
Some things will just have to go unfinished, like the new jail. Much as we’ll need the space, the justice center, conveniently located just a five-minute drive from the Pepsi Center, won’t be done till 2009. Protesters who go beyond the usual lawful antics, such as the mass vomiting performed outside Madison Square Garden for the Republicans in 2004, could find themselves incarcerated in tents outside the jail on Smith Road.
Organizing the thousands of workers won’t be easy either, though visions of video of Hillary Clinton refusing to cross a picket line outside The Can flashing every five minutes on CNN surely will be enough to get talks rolling pronto.
Moving 35,000 people between hotels and the convention hall will be a challenge, too. Denver has 770 taxis working the streets, which is a few hundred short of enough on a typical New Year’s Eve. With 246 limousine companies licensed in the metro area and lots of the hotel rooms located as far away as DIA and the Tech Center promised to convention organizers, that means Broncos-game-style gridlock of buses, rental cars, satellite trucks and stretch limos on the west edge of downtown every day.
But this extravaganza won’t be all streets lined with porta-potties and swarms of cops in riot gear. No way.
For anybody with a taste for the dramatic and the absurd, this is going to be a blast. The whole town will come out to dude up the conventioneers in Western finery and show them some real, mawkish Colorado hospitality.
I can’t wait for this part.
I picture Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama tossing their Manolos in the back of their hybrid limo on the way from the airport, slipping into some complimentary Justin boots and trying hard not to look ridiculous.
Then there will be the obligatory photo op with Dianne Feinstein choking down a Rocky Mountain oyster as if she’s a finalist in an episode of “Survivor: Denver” and maybe one with Ted Kennedy riding a horse. Squeeze Al Gore into a kayak bobbing down the South Platte and there’s a good chance rescuers will be pulling hysterical camera crews from three continents out of the drink. Don’t miss it.
For celebrity spotting, this will be even better than the emergency room at Aspen during ski season.
Michael Moore is a sure thing. Ditto for Al Franken, Rob Reiner and Jon Stewart. Extra points for sighting the reclusive divas Barbra Streisand and Gwyneth Paltrow. And if Bruce Springsteen performs in Civic Center, I swear I’ll register as a Democrat, if only for one night.
Prepare to party hard.
In Boston in 2004, there were galas at Fenway Park, receptions near the wharf and endless toasts at Cheers. Count on something exquisitely tasteful at the Hamilton Building and plenty of laid-back tippling at the Wynkoop. But the hot ticket will be Tim Gill’s gala.
The founder of Quark and one of a handful of donors to Democratic causes who has helped change the color of Colorado’s politics from screaming red just a few years ago to deep purple (at least) is renowned for spectacular entertaining.
For years he threw magnificent Halloween parties, including one with a circus theme over which he presided in a bare-chested ringmaster costume complete with fake pecs. My friends who went regaled me with stories of the sumptuous foods, the fabulous performers and the fun that continued till morning.
So if the choice is between teatime at the Governor’s Mansion and Gill’s bash, I know where I’m going.
I can’t wait to see what Cher is wearing.
Diane Carman’s column appears Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. She can be reached at 303-954-1489 or dcarman@denverpost.com.
