Dear Amy: Our 12-year-old daughter has an opportunity to attend a private school in a wealthy neighborhood about 20 minutes away. She has been offered a complete scholarship.
The private school presents several advantages, including class size, advances in technology and safety.
My spouse believes that private school is not for our child, despite not having seen the school. Our daughter doesn’t want to leave her friends. Even if our daughter changes her mind, my wife will not support this idea.
We want what is best for our daughter, but we are on opposite ends on this issue. I say it is a life-changing opportunity, and she says it is not worth considering.
I worry that this will destroy my family if it is not handled correctly.
– Privately Worried
Dear Worried: If you and your wife truly want what is best for your child, then you’ll stand together, open to every possibility and opportunity – including the possibility that your daughter will do fine right where she is.
This issue seems to have devolved into a power struggle between the two of you, but when you raise the stakes to the level of destroying your family, you’re giving this issue too much weight.
I disagree with you that your daughter’s future hinges on this opportunity. I also disagree with your wife’s refusal to look into it. Your wife should respect your idea enough to carefully consider it.
She should go to the school, speak to people and investigate the opportunity with an open mind. Knowing that the school values your daughter’s potential enough to offer her a scholarship might affect her view of the school.
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Dear Amy: Do you believe that it is the parents’ responsibility to pay for their children’s spring break vacations? My husband and I pay for tuition, spending money, books, food, car, gas, insurance, clothing, etc. We feel that it is not our responsibility to supply vacations to Europe or the Caribbean.
What happened to getting a degree and earning your own money? My husband and I are so confused because we have been told by our children that “every parent pays” – except for us. Are we being snowballed?
– Spring Break the Bank
Dear Spring: Don’t fall for this. If your kids want to go to the Caribbean, then toss them a tube of sunscreen, wish them all the best, and ask them to shoot you a postcard from the beach.
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