Dear Amy: Nearly three years ago I met the woman of my dreams online. We met on a music website.
She is 26 years old and still lives with her parents in Wisconsin. I am 22 and live in Virginia. We have seen each other two times (both this year) over weekends.
She is trying to persuade me to move to Wisconsin to be with her. She is severely attached to her family.
We both say that we love each other, and we talk on the telephone every evening. We have spoken of marriage.
I graduated from college last year and have a blossoming career here in Virginia with an IT company.
I keep telling her that the location of the “breadwinner” is where couples end up residing. Also, I much prefer Virginia weather over cold and snowy Wisconsin.
How do I persuade her to separate herself from her family and let me be her support system? Or is this relationship just not meant to be?
– Want to Stay in V.A.
Dear Want: I find it hard to imagine that a 26-year-old woman who is “severely attached” to her parents and still lives at home would be happy living elsewhere. You should not be trying to persuade this woman to let you be her support system. In a marriage between equals, you should each endeavor to be a support system for the other. She doesn’t seem able to be much of a support to you.
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Dear Amy: I like to walk around my neighborhood in nice weather, as do many other residents, some of whom I know well enough to stop and have a chat with.
My problem is with a couple of neighbors who walk their dogs and are nice enough to clean up after them. I appreciate the cleanup part, but my difficulty is when they engage me in conversation while holding a clear plastic bag full of dog waste.
I find I am unable to look in their direction, lest I see the repulsive bag, and you can imagine how awkward this makes the conversation.
Do you think I can just confront these people by asking them to be more discreet, or should I just run past them, begging off from conversation? Either way I think they might take offense.
– Repulsed
Dear Repulsed: If you think it would make things easier for everyone, perhaps you could fold up a couple of those brown paper lunch bags and put them in your back pocket during your walks. Your neighbors might not take offense if you offer them an additional, non-transparent bag.
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