Dear Abby: When did it become permissible for people to rub a pregnant woman’s belly? I’m 31 weeks pregnant, and everywhere I go someone walks up to me and starts touching my stomach. A day doesn’t go by that it doesn’t happen.
I am at the point where I cringe when someone gets too close. Abby, these are people I know – some good friends, some acquaintances – like hairdressers or teachers at my daughter’s school. One woman touches me every time I see her. When my daughter made a comment to me about it, the friend responded, “Oh, it’s OK if I rub Mama’s belly. It’s just me. She doesn’t care if I rub her.”
I thought, “Oh, really? I don’t recall giving you permission!” I need my personal space. When did it become OK to touch someone like that? Am I unreasonable to regard this as invasive? Should I stand there and just allow it?
– Pregnant and Paranoid
Dear P and P: For some reason, people – sometimes even strangers – feel compelled to reach out and touch a pregnant woman’s belly. Because you feel it’s an invasion of your space, it is up to you to speak up and let them know it bothers you.
It might be helpful to have a few custom T-shirts made for yourself. On the front of one, the lettering might read, “Don’t Touch the Merchandise!” On another, “Look, But Don’t Touch!”
Dear Abby: I am an eighth-grade girl who, in my opinion and the BMI calculator’s, is a healthy weight for my height. My problem is, when I’m at school, girls I know – and even some I don’t know – will come up to me and say, “Omigosh! You are sooo skinny! How do you do it?” Or, “Has anyone ever told you that you are too skinny?” Or even, “Are you anorexic?”
Abby, these girls are not overweight. Actually, a lot of the time they are skinnier than I am! I am comfortable with my weight, but I just don’t know how to answer these questions. I wouldn’t really call them compliments.
– Frustrated
Dear Frustrated: You are at an age when many girls become obsessed with their weight. To the girls who ask how you manage yours, say, “I’m just lucky, I guess. I have a great metabolism.” To the ones who ask if “anyone” has ever told you that you are skinny, reply, “Yes. You just did – and it’s rather rude to make comments about other people’s weight.” And to those who ask if you’re anorexic, tell them the answer is no. But whatever you do, don’t lose your cool.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
