A wedding invitation does not obligate you to attend the ceremony. Period.
But sometimes life isn’t so clearly cut and relationships only complicate the decision.
Before feeling guilty for not being able to or not wanting to go, Susan Schneider, executive editor at Bridal Magazine, offers some reassurance.
“You are allowed to draw the line,” she says. If you accepted every invitation, “You would not have time for anything in your life.”
Close relative or friend
You may just want to level with them, Schneider says, and tell them you can’t attend.Send a handwritten note and consider mailing a gift, she recommends.
Although invitations are generally mailed months before the ceremony, an out-of-state wedding can pose a different set of obstacles to overcome. If it’s a question of a long, expensive trip to another part of the country or state, write a note expressing regrets for not being able to witness the special day and perhaps send a gift, Schneider says.
But think twice before ditching the wedding because you don’t approve of the soon-to-be spouse, Schneider warns, because you can risk alienating that person.
Distant relative or friend
Weigh whether or not you anticipate them being part of your life. If you don’t want to attend, a simple handwritten note of regret is adequate.
If this is a person who at one time meant a great deal to you, send a card and a gift for old time’s sake if you don’t want to or don’t think you will be able to attend, Schneider recommends.
Co-worker or boss
Evaluate your relationship to the person giving the wedding.
If you don’t know the couple and feel uncomfortable going, a simple, “Thanks but no thanks” will suffice, Schneider says. But do keep in mind that weddings have the potential of being great networking opportunities.
– Desiree Belmarez, Denver Post staff writer
