NBC should have just gone ahead and called its “Knight Rider” remake “Son of Knight Rider.” Sure, it might have given away a plot “twist” (protagonist Mike Tracer is — surprise, surprise — the son of the old Michael Knight, hero of the show’s previous incarnation, and David Hasselhoff showed up in the final scene to prove it), but at least it would have put viewers in the appropriate B-movie frame of mind, softening the blow just a tad.
As it is, the new “Knight Rider,” starring Justin Bruening as the new Mike and Val Kilmer as the voice of KITT, the uber-computer car, is a bit of a shock. The two-hour movie/pilot/extended Ford commercial crept by Sunday night like a glacier with turbo-revving sound effects. (No advance screeners were available — never a good sign.) Starting Saturday, the show airs at 8 p.m. on KUSA-Channel 9.
A barely-there plot drove the action and got everyone up to speed (terrible puns totally intentional): Although it’s been 25 years since the original KITT ruled the road, Knight Industries creator Charles Graiman (Bruce Davison) has not been idle. When a band of unidentified thugs attempts to steal Graiman’s various “codes,” it becomes clear that what Graiman now knows could, in an instant, destroy the world. Believing they have accidentally killed Graiman, the band o’ evildoers goes in search of his comely daughter Sarah (Deanna Russo), who is blithely teaching at Stanford just as if the fate of the world didn’t rest in her hands.
To her aid comes KITT, now the Knight Industries Three Thousand, as opposed to the Knight Industries Two Thousand, and a Ford Mustang instead of a Pontiac Trans Am because, you know, it’s 25 years later, and sponsors change. With Kilmer channeling Mr. Spock, KITT takes Sarah back to Tracer, Sarah’s old flame and a former super soldier who served in Iraq.
All of which reads much more interestingly than it plays on the screen. Because the ’80s are over, and they ain’t coming back. Cars these days do actually talk and kids can pull up computer graphics as the family car tools down the highway.
Also, Val Kilmer is no William Daniels. As the voice of the original KITT, Daniels was testy, hilarious and endearing. I’m also pretty sure he’s still available.
In a desperate attempt to make the now-clunky conceit modern, writer David Andron apparently rifled the TV Writers Emergency Preparedness Kit and pulled out everything he could find.
All of this is fixable, of course, with sharper writing and perhaps even some recasting, but, unfortunately, “Knight Rider” faces that invincible foe: time. As with “Bionic Woman,” technology has outstripped what was once science fiction. For KITT to have resonance in today’s world, the vehicle would have to be equipped for space travel or time travel, read minds or at least have nuclear capabilities. Instead, this car’s big claim to fame is it can change colors.
Whoopee.
