By my calculations, 98.9 percent of the voters on Tuesday cast their ballots for “change.”
OK, how about if the first changes we make are in the way we conduct the campaigns themselves? Are you in a mood to vote for that?
As soon as possible — while things are painfully fresh in our minds — our lawmakers should agree on something called the Voter Relief Act of 2009. It should guarantee that no longer will be political assaults on our senses 24-7, January through December, year-in, year-out. Let’s have no more repeats of 2008 when the first candidates got ramped up before Christmas in 2004.
Henceforth, let’s create a non-campaign season.
The Voter Relief Act should include (but not be limited to) the following conditions.
New Hampshire’s first primary shall be held in July 2012.
No candidate for federal office may announce his/her candidacy prior to 16 months before the election.
Official campaigns shall start on Labor Day of the election year (like they did when Ike and Harry were running).
No results from Moose Butt, Vt., will be announced until all the state’s polls close — no matter if all 15 residents voted at 5 a.m.
Candidates may raise all the money they can, from whomever they can, but limits should be set on spending. Say 4 gadzillion dollars on presidential races and l.6 trillion on senate races. Any surplus would be turned over to the Treasury Department, thus eliminating the national debt.
All campaign yard signs and posters shall be made of highly biodegradable materials, and must turn into compost within 21 days of being exposed to the atmosphere.
All political polls and reports thereon shall contain a warning: “People don’t always tell the truth.”
In the interest of saving the polar bear, all national candidates shall be limited to 2,000 gallons of jet fuel.
Brewing companies and the creators of video games, not politicians, shall have first choice of prime-time advertising slots on TV.
Negative ads would be allowed, but none could contain the words “highbinder,” “tool,” “dupe,” “ex-lobbyist,” or “convicted felon.”
Candidates could not appear on Monday Night Football, Dr. Phil or the Food Channel.
All phone solicitations by candidates, or their agents, must be done by real, live people, not robotic recordings. If Ralph Nader wants to know if you voted, he should call you himself.
No municipality shall host a major political convention more than once every century. The excitement and cost should be passed around.
Quick action is important on this matter. Without the Voter Relief Act, the first candidates for 2012 will likely be running before our new president is sworn in.
Dick Hilker (dhilker529@q.com) of Loveland is a retired suburban Denver newspaper editor and columnist.
