“The Most Romantic Rooms Ever” read the cover line of the magazine, and I was sucked in. I’d like more romance in my house. Thinking it might be as easy as a new window treatment, I flipped earnestly through the magazine, looking for love.
I saw what I always see in these seductive shelter magazines: envy-invoking homes with perfect- pitch furnishings, gracious and immaculate. If something with a beating heart were in the room, it was a well-groomed boy in an argyle sweater vest, a girl with a silky hair bow the size of an Easter lily, or a laughing, unlined woman who never had to cover a mortgage payment.
No dishes sullied the sink. No fingerprints marred the windows. No mail cluttered the counters. And surely nothing in the refrigerator smelled like a dead starfish. Talk about not leaving a footprint. These phantom families don’t even leave toothpaste in their sinks.
Sigh. It’s romantic all right, and decidedly unlike my mangy household. At my house, romance runs out the door like school kids on spring break.
I’ve looked, and romance is not behind the washing machine with the lost hang-dry sports bras, nor under the rug with Lord knows what else. It’s not in the microwave where someone (who isn’t coming forward) blew up spaghetti with meat sauce, and not in the medicine cabinet between the Visine and the corn-remover pads.
I know this, yet I still buy into the brainwashing that if you get the house just right, romance will happen.
But how do you create romance in a home where your 20-year marriage is so familiar your husband doesn’t notice that you’ve started wearing glasses? Where kids don’t make beds on principle, citing Henry David Thoreau’s “Civil Disobedience”? Where it’s not unusual to sit down to dinner and find a rubber band from your daughter’s braces in the salad, or put a hand under the counter and hit the exact spot where some person (who’s also not coming forward) cleaned off the jelly knife?
I start my quest by asking my own family how to boost the household’s love index.
“I’d like a boy,” says the 15-year-old. Then she names a few in particular.
“Love is stupid,” says the 13-year-old.
“Have you seen my tan sweatshirt?” asks Dan, my husband.
“You’re all hopeless,” I say, exasperated. Then I notice Dan’s looking at me funny.
“Are those glasses new?” he asks.
Hope, like love, springs eternal.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo), available through Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You may contact her through .
Create a red-hot mood
Although asking my family for romance-boosting tips led nowhere, when I turned to home-design experts, they served up some ideas beyond the obvious candles, roses and dimmer switches. Perhaps you, too, want to try these romance-kindling tactics at home this Valentine’s Day:
Plant romantic reminders. A week before Valentine’s Day, haul out those accessories too sappy to put out the rest of the year: red linens, heart-shaped pillows, cupids. (I store mine in a red plastic bin.) Place these items around the house to remind loved ones — ahem — that a special day is coming.
On a budget? Forgo the fancy restaurant and dine at home, but don’t eat where you normally do, suggests interior designer Kathy Passarette, of Long Island, N.Y. Move a small table in front of the fireplace. Or dine on the floor next to the hearth or coffee table while sitting on large pillows.
Saturate your space with unexpected color. Cover tables with red linens or burgundy table runners. Accent with black and white dishes, and heart-shaped confetti, says interior designer Merri Cvetan, of Milwaukee. Smother the ceiling with red and black balloons. Cut balloon ties so they clear your head when you’re sitting (or lying in bed).
Speaking of the bed, think red. Make the bed with your best sheets. Toss a red throw at the foot, and a few red or black boudoir pillows at the head. Plant surprises under the pillows. Meanwhile, do me a favor and get the computer, television and exercise bike out of there.
Clear the decks. Take the usual stacks of magazines and remote controls off coffee tables and nightstands, if only for the evening, and replace them with candles and small vases of white, red or pink flowers.
Say it with scent. Get the right smells in the kitchen, says interior designer Marilyn Lewis, of Longview, Texas. Banish the onion and garlic. Cinnamon, chocolate and sweet spices are “aromatherapy for the heart.”
Express yourself. Using rose petals or candy hearts, make heart shapes on tables or beds, or write out words (love, you’re mine, take me).
Play cupid. On Valentine’s Day morning, get up early and write a love note in red lipstick on your sweetie’s mirror. Set a book of love poems and a rosebud on your children’s nightstands.
Cast a spell. Draw the curtains and dim the lights. Your other senses take in more when light is low. Replace white light bulbs with pink ones, says lifestyle designer Lissa Coffey of Westlake Village, Calif. Unplug the phone, turn off the computers, put on some soft music, and hang a “do not disturb” sign on the door,
Now that the stage is set, the rest is up to you. Happy Valentine’s Day.
