Elvis has left the notes column. . . .
The Las Vegas Hilton, the world’s largest sports book, has spoken, and the over/under is 77.5 for the Rockies’ 2009 win total. Say what? Judging from the early returns at spring training, they may not win 77 innings. . . .
It has been only a few days, but already my tape recorder misses David Anderson. Anderson, the ex-CSU wideout, signed an offer sheet with the Broncos, only to have the Texans match it. Said Anderson, when asked how much he got: “Three years, 4.6 million. . . . But they could give me two years and 10 million if they want.” . . .
Shannon Sharpe on the Broncos’ botched run at Matt Cassel: “I can see why Josh McDaniels wanted a guy he had worked with, but I’m leery any time you put that much faith in a guy who’s had one good year. He might be the next Tom Brady, but I’ve seen more Scott Mitchells than I’ve seen Tom Bradys.” . . .
Not that it matters anymore, but Cassel was 10-5 as the Pats’ starting QB last season — 2-4 against playoff teams, 8-1 vs. wannabes. . . .
Vonnie Holliday, a Dolphins captain in ’08, was cut to save money vs. the cap. Holliday to : “There’s no loyalty in this league. Everybody throws that word around, but at the end of the day, it’s a business. It’s about money.” Right. That or having your old quarterback join you in Denver. . . .
Ye olde bottom line on the Cutler fiasco: When you’re 24-24 over a three-year span, only the jock washers are safe. . . .
The Lions just signed free-agent defensive tackle Grady Jackson to a lucrative deal. Let me guess. It wasn’t about the money. It was about having a chance to win. . . .
For the record, Sharpe has moved on from his first-ballot Hall of Fame snub. His biggest disappointment? That he couldn’t go in with ex-Ravens teammate Rod Woodson. Said Sharpie: “I’m over it. It was a relief, really. I was so nervous, I couldn’t enjoy the process. It would have been a huge honor to go in with Rod. I’ll be there for him, just like I was there for John (Elway).” . . .
Nouveau Celtic Stephon Marbury says he isn’t bitter about the Knicks, who paid him most of his $20.8 million salary to check out the babes at Madison Square Garden. Whew! Glad we got that cleared up. . . .
Bringing new meaning to revenue streams: Dublin-based Ryanair reportedly is considering charging $1.40 to use the facilities. Makes you wonder why some sports team didn’t think of it first. . . .
And now, a few words about what’s left of the Avs’ season . . .
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Moving right along, we give you the best name in college hoopdom. That would be U of Evansville forward Shy Ely, the Mizzou Valley’s leading scorer at 18.3 per. . . .
From the talk-about-bad-timing dept.: Brandon Marshall soon will be begging for leniency from NFL commish Roger Goodell, who just took a 20-percent pay cut. . . .
What’s this? According to some cyberspace report, some yogurt producers put crushed bugs in their product. So it’s official then. I’ll never complain about those Coors Field hot dogs again. . . .
It isn’t just you, bubba. Latest e-mail from my attorney/fantasy-league partner: “I’m losing one major client away from standing at Lincoln and Colfax with a ‘Will give legal advice for food — God bless’ sign.” . . .
They say it’s your birthday: Ivan Lendl (49), Joe Carter (49), Lynn Swann (57) and Franco Harris (59). . . .
Then there’s Bronx D coordinator Mike Nolan, who turns the big 5-oh today. If you guessed that all he wants for his birthday is a pass rusher, advance to Go and collect 200 smackers. . . .
And finally, an AFC West front-office type, when asked if his team was laughing at the Cutler-J Mac spat: “We’re trying to keep it to a mild snicker.”
Jim Armstrong: 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com
Five fearless predictions
Just so you know, the Broncos weren’t remotely interested in acquiring Matt Cassel. Uh-huh. And Donald Trump hasn’t remotely considered using Grecian. Here are five fearless predictions for the week to come at Dove Valley:
1. Josh McDaniels and Jay Cutler will have a serious heart-to-heart in the coach’s office. Milk and cookies will be served.
2. Pat Bowlen will hire Dr. Phil as the Broncos’ new quarterbacks coach.
3. McDaniels, stealing a paraphrase from Al Davis, will patent the term “Just deny, baby.”
4. Bowlen will hire Mike Shanahan as a part-time damage-control consultant.
5. McDaniels and Cutler will resolve their issues. Then, just to blow off a little steam after a tough week, they’ll co-host a toga party in the front lobby.
Coach with the most
Don’t look now, but it’s happening again. Larry Brown is turning around a franchise once given up for dead.
It’s true. The Charlotte Bobcats, Michael Jordan’s hobby when he isn’t hard at work on the driving range, were so bad early in the season that Sports Illustrated did a story on their futility. By mid-December, their record had dropped to 7-18.
Since then, they have been 19-17 to move into the playoff conversation in the NBA East. Along the way, Brown has traded away about half the roster, reprising his signature move from various other stops on his coaching carousel.
Question is, is the ex-Nuggets coach smiling now that his team is winning? Doubtful. Or maybe you’ve never caught Doug Moe’s time-honored quote about his best buddy: “Larry’s never happy unless he’s miserable.”
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