What was Manny Ramirez thinking? He wasn’t. Manny, below, doesn’t do thinking. Here are five predictions of what will happen now that Our Man Manny has been suspended:
5. The Players Association will issue a press release offering him its full support. The next day, the union will blast the Dodgers for not signing Barry Bonds to replace him.
4. Hall of Fame officials will remove from display the curling iron he used before hitting his 500th home run.
3. Intrigued by a late-night infomercial, he’ll order a self-help tape called “Five Easy Steps To Spelling Your Own Name.”
2. He’ll become the first major-leaguer ever to snag an endorsement for a women’s fertility drug.
1. He’ll star in the sequel to “A League Of Their Own,” playing left field next to Madonna.
