Nancy Struzziero was elated – and relieved – when her son, Matt, got a good job offer last fall. A Boston College senior, Matt was offered a job, upon graduation, with ExxonMobil in November, just as the economy really turned sour.
But many of Matt’s childhood friends haven’t found jobs yet, and Struzziero says she feels their pain and is being extra sensitive. “My friends are thrilled for my son and for us, but I think there’s a sadness around themselves and their own child,” said Struzziero, who grew up in Medford and also attended BC.
This is how she handles such discussions with other parents: She credits Matt’s triple major at the Carroll School of Management at BC – in finance, marketing, and human resources. And she offers words of comfort – and compliments.
“I try to respond that it’s because Matt had a focus in his education, it helped him slightly,” said Struzziero, vice president of sales for a medical device company in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. “It’s not that he was any better or any more educated, it’s just because of his focus. I try to be comforting and tell them it’s not about their child; it’s all about the economy. I try to be very complimentary, say that my friends’ kids are just as talented and bright and their career choice will be successful, it might just take a little longer.” As many graduating students go about the tough tasks of looking and hoping for a job, their parents are left with the tough tasks of worrying and waiting. A little show of pride – a little bragging, even – is a time-honored parental perk. But today, rather than chirping proudly, many parents are comparing notes in a “misery loves company” kind of way.
Employers say they will hire 22 percent fewer graduates from the class of 2009 than they hired from the class of 2008, according to a recent study by the National Association of Colleges and Employers. As well, the number of internship offers is down 21 percent. Such positions are often feeders for full-time jobs.
What is the new etiquette in this savage job market? Is it a season of envy or empathy or a delicate balance of both? If your child is lucky enough to snag a job, is it OK to spread the good word, or will that come off as one-upmanship? “I think we all feel we’re in this together,” said Judy Stapleton, a nurse from Milton who believes parents are taking the lead from their children, who are supportive of one another as they search for work.
“They’re very happy for the one who gets the job.” Her daughter, Kate, is a psychology and business major about to graduate from Loyola College in Baltimore. She will probably go back to her summer job as a lifeguard. Since November, Kate has been sending out résumés, looking for a sales job. She has been called back for a fourth interview for a sales training program, but knows she is one of 300 applicants for five slots.
Jerrie Moffett’s son Jeffrey is graduating with a degree in aerospace engineering from Worcester Polytechnic Institute and does not have a job.
Moffett feels that most parents are trying to be sensitive to one another.
“I think people are being really, really careful,” said Moffett, who teaches at Milton Academy. “It’s almost like survivor’s guilt. If your child is doing really well, you don’t want to brag.” In fact, Moffett feels the opposite is happening: People are going out of their way to help others network. “When you’ve been a parent for a long time, you realize there’s bumps in the road for everybody. You want to get everybody’s kid to the right place. People realize that a lot of this is the luck of the draw.” Judy White-Orlando’s daughter Andrea will graduate soon from Fordham University with a degree in business accounting and will work at Ernst & Young in Boston. Andrea had interned with the company and participated in a leadership program that often leads to a permanent job. The offer was made in August. Though her parents were proud, they didn’t realize how lucky the timing was.
“I really didn’t give it much thought, because it was all part of the normal process,” said White-Orlando, who lives in Milton. “But then the bottom fell out of the economy, and the parental perspective changed. My husband and I thank our lucky stars. But I do credit my daughter and her college.” Is her happiness tinged at all with guilt, given the struggles of others? “I don’t feel guilty, because I think she’s worked hard for everything.
But I try not to gloat or ask too many questions. Just, ‘How’s the process going?”‘ said White-Orlando.
The students who are competing against one another and also against veteran workers who have lost their jobs – are also empathetic.
“Everybody’s kind of freaking out about it,” said Ali Ring, 23, who will soon get a degree in communications at Boston College.
Ring has an unpaid internship at a public relations firm in Boston, hoping that will lead to something permanent. Meanwhile, she bartends a couple of nights a week. “I can count on one hand the friends who have a job lined up,” she said.
Ali’s father, Richard, says parents are comparing notes and supporting one another in their anxiety. “I think everyone is just wishing the best for all the kids,” said Ring, director of the Travelers Aid Society.
Parental expectations have also shifted along with the job market.
Suddenly, unpaid internships are OK. A job that isn’t the greatest will do.
“I think parents are encouraging children to accept what they can, which is very different than in the past,” said Desiree Jones-Eaves, a nurse who lives in Bridgewater. Her daughter, Irena, is graduating from Boston University with a degree in magazine journalism. Her plan was to stay in Boston and find a job in journalism, but that market has dried up.
She has an unpaid internship with , an online consumer/coupon site, but will earn some money this summer doing freelance work for the company.
She’s in good company. “Not one person I know has a full-time job in their major,” said Irena, 22. “There was a time when we were all really excited about what we were going to do, but lately we can’t talk about it because we don’t know what we’re doing.” BU classmate Elizabeth Iannotti has a paid summer internship with a big public relations firm in New York, which she hopes will lead to a full-time job. Her mother, Kathy, says many of her friends’ children have nothing lined up, and she feels their concern and disappointment.
“People are using way better tact and taste right now because so many great kids through no fault of their own can’t come up with anything,” said Iannotti, who lives in Acton. “No one is puffing out their chest and saying, ‘Look at us.”‘ Her daughter’s graduation, she says, will be bittersweet. “I am prepared to be sitting there feeling so terrible for all those kids out there in caps and gowns. There’s such a mass of kids who have no place to go.”
