Dear Amy: I am writing regarding your response to “Worried Mom,” who was concerned about her son being assigned a gay roommate at college.
Unlike you, I don’t equate that with being given a roommate of a different race, religion or nationality. It is more like having your daughter assigned a guy to live with. The two guys might wind up being great friends, but having to share physical intimacies with someone of a different sexual orientation could be very disconcerting.
An 18-year-old kid, with all the other stuff he or she has to face, doesn’t need that, and often is not sophisticated enough to deal with it on an appropriate level. Kudos to this young man if he can “sort it out” on his own. — Mareth
Dear Mareth: No topic I have ever covered in my column has generated a more heated response than this.
Yours is among the more civilized expressions of the most commonly held view: that asking a straight person to room with a gay person would be like asking a young man and woman to room together.
There are several older teens in my life, and when I polled them on this question, they didn’t express any extreme concern, though none of these kids (all girls) wanted to room with a guy. In my answer, I reacted to what I thought was the assumption on the part of “Worried Mom” that a gay roommate might behave sexually toward a same-sex roommate.
Colleges give students the opportunity to switch roommates. This enables incompatible people to make changes.
Dear Amy: My 43-year-old sister, who is single, recently moved in with my husband and me for a few months.
We get along great, but her clothing is so revealing that I’m embarrassed to go out in public with her. She wears shorts so short that they simply couldn’t be any shorter and still be called “shorts.” She has enormous breasts and is not shy about them. Her blouses are tight and very revealing. Even if someone wanted to ignore her, it’s impossible. She dresses like this even to go to the grocery store.
It didn’t bother me so much in the past because it’s none of my business, and we were not together that often, so I could ignore it.
But now that she lives with us, it is my business. I’m uncomfortable around her in my own home, unless she covers up with a T-shirt.
My husband ignores her, but she does crave attention, and I have to admit that this bothers me as well.
Am I being unreasonable? What should I do? — Sensitive Sister
Dear Sensitive: You are being a little unreasonable, but as her sister you get to be a little unreasonable.
It’s OK to admit that you’re uncomfortable, but it would be best to frame this in a way that doesn’t cast too much judgment.
If your sister wants to dress like Dolly Parton when she goes to the grocery store, then that’s her choice. Just ask her to look a little more “Amish” when she’s at home.
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