I’m standing in my landscaper’s backyard looking for some courage.
My landscaper, Dusty Hettinger, owner of Rocky Mountain Ponds and Waterfalls, is trying to persuade me to give pond fish another try. His team has just replaced my old, leaky, backyard water feature with a fabulous new one. It has everything a waterfall and pond should have — except fish.
“I can’t take any more fish death,” I say.
I’ve endured more fish- death than a Mafia member. The fish in our old pond didn’t do so swimmingly. I tell him how we’d buy fish and put them in the pond. Some would slip through the filter and into the pump where they would torpedo down the waterfall. (I think these were teen fish.) They’d survive that only to be pecked off by a red-tailed hawk.
Actually, we’re unsure if the fish died and then the birds pecked them off, or if birds pecked them off and they died.
If they died with no bird involvement, we had a fish funeral. If I never attend another fish funeral it will be too soon.
The point is, whether our fish wound up as bird droppings or in a shallow grave, they returned to Mother Earth to enrich the soil and feed plants.
“On the bright side,” I said, “they taught our kids way more about the circle of life than ‘The Lion King.’ ”
As Hettinger listens patiently, his eyebrows raise a little. When I finally pause, he says, “If you do it right, goldfish and koi can live up to 30 years.”
“Not on my watch.”
“It’s all about balance.”
I nod. I decide, based on his eyebrows and the fact that he probably thinks I’m a little off-balance myself, not to tell him that I’ve never been good at balancing anything: not kids and work, not diet, not yoga poses, not even my checkbook. What makes me — or him — think I can balance a pond?
Hettinger’s own yard is a cross between a water park and a scene from Huck Finn. It has a large fish pond, an infinity pool, a stream and several falls. His pond is stocked with fish. At this moment, three neighbor boys are on the pond’s floating dock, fishing in their swim trunks. This is not something you see in suburbia, which, I remind myself, is where we are.
“What are they catching?” I ask.
“Trout,” he says, like this is so normal. “You’re releasing, right?” he hollers to the boys.
“How many fish are in there?”
“Hundreds,” he shrugs.
“All living?”
He nods. The showoff.
He tosses in some fish food. Fish swarm and jump. These are happy fish.
“Ponds are just ecosystems,” he continues. I flash back to college biology, an experience that led me straight to the English department.
“You can do this,” he says.
Back at my pond, we dechlorinate the water, put in some water plants, and dump in three koi and three goldfish.
I say a small blessing over them and christen the water hole Hope Pond.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo). Contact her through .
A more peaceable pond
According to fish-pond experts, these are the best ways to avoid “floaters” and enjoy a healthy pond.
Kill the chemicals. Pond fish most often die from chlorine in their water. Chlorine is in almost all city tap water, including hose water. Add dechlorinator every time you add fresh water. To combat algae, add natural bacteria instead of algaecides to keep your water clear. Algaecides can be toxic to fish.
Help them breathe. Fish need a fresh supply of oxygen to survive. They can die in stagnant water. Fish ponds get oxygen from moving water. Be sure yours has a fountain, waterfall, stream or bubbler.
Give them space. Fish ponds should be at least 2 feet deep, especially if you live in areas that freeze. Fish will survive the winter even if your pond freezes over, as long as they have an oxygen source. Don’t overcrowd your pond. Figure 100 gallons per fish.
Seek balance. If you have plants in your pond, you don’t need fish. But if you have fish, you need plants. Fish eat plants, including algae, and plants thrive off fish waste. Plants also provide shade and protection for fish. If algae takes hold, don’t attack it with chemicals, says Barbara Johnson, who is known as The Fish Lady. Instead, cut back on fish food, skim debris from the water, clean filters, and add fresh nitrifying bacteria. A pond’s balance will change with the season. Learn how to test your water; correct imbalances in Ph levels or nitrates — or have a pond service out every so often.
Deter predators. A well-stocked pond looks like a sushi bar to many fish-loving animals, including birds and raccoons. Michelle Hollow, a wildlife blogger at , says that putting fake owls, snakes or herons around the pond will discourage predators. Move the statues often, or the stalkers will figure out your ploy. Raccoons can’t fish in steep-sided ponds. The pond should also have some caves or tunnels where fish can hide from predators.
Kick out bullies. Some fish don’t mix. Just like in high school, ponds can have bullies. Large wild fish will eat smaller koi or goldfish. Sometimes two of the same kind of fish will fight. Watch for fights and remove the meany.
