Hannah is rolling and laughing a lot these days. Her family says she has an abundance of love to give because it is what she has received.
“She has connected two families into one,” said Hannah’s mom, Lori Wurth. “It’s not a traditional family, but there is so much love.”
Hannah’s family includes her adoptive parents and 3-year-old brother, Noah. There are also her birth parents and their extended families.
The group exchanges regular e-mails, phone calls, pictures and text messages. Hannah’s dad, James Wurth, keeps a website updated with all the changes that come as a baby grows. Lori Wurth and the birth mom are FaceBook friends and are in touch a lot.
In the first three months of Hannah’s life she saw her birth family six times.
“I heard about another couple who had done an open adoption where they saw the birth mother a lot . . . and I thought: I could never do that,” Lori Wurth said. “And here I am doing it. You go through the process and the trust just builds.”
The Wurths say a key to that process has been a unique adoption support program at Parker Adventist Hospital.
The Family to Family program helped guide both families through the open-adoption process and supported them as they went through the delivery.
Rebecca Vahle started the program after she adopted her third child. She had gone through the entire pregnancy with the birth mother.
“When I got to the hospital I was suddenly pushed aside and made to feel insignificant,” Vahle said. “It was a terrible experience and I decided I needed to do something to help other parents.”
All the staff in the Parker BirthPlace are required to go to Infant Adoption Initiative Training, which is paid for by a federal grant.
“The staff used to run away from these situations, or tiptoe around them because they didn’t quite know how to support,” Vahle said. “Now they dive in because they are confident in the training and know they can help make a good experience even in a really tough situation.”
Vahle said Parker Adventist may be the only hospital in the nation that has an adoption-support program in its birth center.
When Hannah was born, the Wurths had their own room next to the birth family’s. Lori was in the delivery room and said the nurses and doctor included her as another parent.
“It was an honor that Hannah’s birth mom would allow me to be in the room for my new daughter’s first breath,” Lori said. “It was really special to see her being born.”
Hannah’s birth parents are a 16-year-old high school junior and her 17-year-old boyfriend. “My daughter and her boyfriend were not ready to take on the responsibility and everything it entails to be a parent,” said the birth mom’s mother, who asked that her name not be used.
The birth family said those hours in the hospital were very difficult even though they felt sure about their decision. Having a staff around who was sensitive to what they were going through made a huge difference, they said.
“Ultimately this program is about coming alongside the families, and welcoming a child into the world and helping, orchestrating something that is very hard, difficult,” Vahle said.
Because of the complications that can arise between families, Vahle said, the program provides a long-term outlet to walk both sides through any conflicts or challenges that may develop over time.
“You can’t predict what will happen in five years, but we can support whatever situation comes up. One family may suspend communication for a time. We help both sides through that. It doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t reconnect later.”
For the Wurths and Hannah’s birth family, the experience has been a good one.
Hannah’s birth mom will be going to college less than an hour from the Wurths’ home so she can keep in touch with the baby and the Wurths. The Wurths welcome it.
“This is just part of Hannah’s story,” Lori Wurth said. “She won’t ever have that question or that little empty space of ‘I wonder.’ She is just going to know. She’ll know where she got that little dimple next to her nose. She is just going to know all of the family members who have played a part in who she is.”
For information about the Family to Family program, contact Rebecca Vahle at rebeccavahle@centura.org.
