This year, 4-year-old Adrian will be getting what no boy his age ever wants for Christmas.
“Lots of socks and underwear,” says his mother, Jessica Ramirez, a teenager who dropped out of high school in her freshman year because she was pregnant and stayed home to take care of the baby.
Jessica and her husband, Ricardo Lopez Arenas, don’t have money for toys, not this year.
Like many at the Florence Crittenton School for pregnant and parenting teens, Ramirez finds the holiday season the toughest time of all. More than 93 percent of these students live below the federal poverty line, so there is little money for Christmas toys.
“I see my brothers and sisters and aunties go and buy presents,” she said, breaking into tears. “Knowing that I can’t give him something like that just breaks my heart.”
She wipes her eyes with a tissue and sighs.
Her husband works in construction, but there is no work when it snows, and no pay. At 24, he is the sole support of their young family.
They live with her mother in Thornton, paying half the rent and half the bills. Her mother, who works at a flower shop making bouquets for King Soopers, struggles financially too.
“She tells me that sometimes her paycheck doesn’t cover all the bills,” Jessica said.
To help give her son a better quality of life, Jessica decided at age 17 to finish her education. It was hard to overcome her fears.
“I was already older than the other ninth-graders. I was embarrassed. What if the other girls thought I was dumb?
“Then out of nowhere one day, I was sitting down, and I thought, ‘I have to go to school because when my son is big, and he doesn’t want to go to school, what will I tell him?’ “
Husband must leave U.S.
At 19, starting her third year at Florence Crittenton School, which is part of DPS, she earns As and Bs.
If things go well, she will graduate in May. She’s been attending CEC Middle College of Denver through the Crittenton school, earning high school credit while working toward nurse’s aide certification.
“I’m really proud of myself,” she said. “I thank God I came back to school.”
As a kid, she’d always wanted to be a nurse, but that dream was derailed by pregnancy.
She met Ricardo at family celebrations. He was a friend of her cousin’s.
Later, they ran into each other at her cousin’s quinceañera, and started talking again.
“He would go to my house and we’d visit outside,” she said. “We talked and talked, and that’s when we became boyfriend and girlfriend.”
When she became pregnant, they started having problems and broke up.
“It was really hard being by myself and raising a newborn,” she said.
By the time Adrian was 6 months old, Ricardo came back, saying he wanted to help raise his child.
They reconciled, and married.
To build the best possible future for their son, Jessica and Ricardo are getting their paperwork together, and he has applied for permanent U.S. residency.
“He came here illegally,” Jessica said. “We are trying to get his papers. Last time we were in court, the judge said he had to go to Mexico to get his visa to come back.”
He will leave right before Christmas. It may be months or years before he can return, said his lawyer, D. Anthony Fiore.
“That’s why I get really stressed out,” Jessica said. “Christmas is coming, and I need to look for a job to pay the rent.”
The last time she tried to work and go to school, it didn’t end well.
“It was really hard and I was failing a lot of classes. I failed a whole semester here.”
Not wanting to break up the family, Ricardo has asked her to go to Mexico with him and bring their son.
“I told him no,” she said. “I worked so hard, just to give it up like that. . . . I can’t leave everything behind.”
Trying not to stress out
When she receives her CNA certificate, she plans to work part time at a hospital, and earn a scholarship to continue her education and become a registered nurse.
Still, the decision makes her sad.
“He says, ‘Don’t think negative, think positive. Everything’s going to work out. Don’t stress out.’
“But I’m the kind of girl who does stress out, and get depressed.”
Her devotion to Adrian is what keeps her going.
“I was raised by my mom, and I didn’t have my dad,” she said. “My feelings for my dad were really strong, but they were angry feelings. I don’t want my son to feel the same way for me because I wasn’t there.”
Colleen O’Connor: 303-954-1083 or coconnor@denverpost.com
Gifts for students’ kids
To help teen parents this holiday season, the nonprofit Parent Pathways, which runs the Florence Crittenton School, has the Giving Tree Project, where you can provide holiday gifts for the children of teen parents.
For more information, call 303-321-6363, ext. 208, or e-mail mjamison@parentpathways.org.
Gifts are needed by Dec. 14.
