The Colorado Rockies may still be brushing off the spring-training cobwebs, but the veteran Heritage Square comedy ensemble is already in World Series form.
If it’s April, it’s baseball season, and not just at Coors Field. At the Heritage Square Music Hall in Golden, the bunting is out . . . and the bubble gum is being blown.
If you’ve been to T.J. Mullin’s old-timey gem in the heart of the Heritage Square amusement park anytime in the past 20 years, chances are you know what that means — Annie Dwyer, an award-winning comedic actor, with a (singing) belt as wide as Homer Simpson’s waist, demonstrating feats of Bazooka brilliance. Spinning her gum like a rope over the audience’s heads, blowing four bubbles inside one.
It ain’t high art. But it is highly entertaining.
A night at Heritage Square is clean-as-Cracker Jack family fun. It starts in a banquet hall with a consistently tasty buffet dinner that includes an extensive salad bar, carved roast beef, baked chicken, baked fish, soup and the chef’s specialty choices.
Next you move into the Music Hall itself — a festive, friendly place where cast members hawk popcorn, peanuts and other ballpark fare. Dwyer draws preshow applause for blowing a bubble the size of a beanbag chair — and that’s just a hint of what’s to come.
Ragtime maestro Randy Johnson warms the crowd with his astounding ivory-tickling and, after an introductory welcome from the normally reticent Mullin that tends to go on too long, they’re up to bat and swinging for the silly fences.
The first half of the entertainment is “The Pinch Hitter,” a comic melodrama followed by a baseball-themed music-and-comedy revue that includes all the old favorites: “Who’s on First?” a song from “Damn Yankees,” and an audience-participation Nerf baseball game highlighted by Scott Koop’s 1-mph knuckleball and a cleverly staged “instant replay.”
We’re told Heritage Square hasn’t staged “The Pinch Hitter” since 1997, though I could swear it’s the same story they presented in 2003 under the name “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” and again in ’08 as “The Baseball Show.” The previous one was set in 1954 and this one in the 1930s, but the plots are essentially the same.
Mullin plays Harry Bordello, a malapropping small-time gangster gambler who arranges for the kidnapping of wide-eyed “young” phenom Swat Armstrong (Rory Pierce) to keep him from playing in the big game. But their Keystone caper is done in by Swat’s sharp-witted sister Betty Ann (the lovely Kira Cauthorn).
Heritage Square should just call it “The Annie Dwyer Bubble Gum Show,” and its identity crisis would be over.
Dwyer plays squeaky-voiced Angora LaRue, the dim-bulb gangster moll with the blindingly bright blond hair. Sitting in the bleachers as the game is played, she manages her popcorn, bubble gum and Budweiser like a master juggler. When she spills her popcorn, she retrieves it . . . with her gum. And eats it. These are feats sure to amaze and appall you.
Audiences love it. And Mullin’s language-mangling Yogi Berra-isms (“overwrought” comes out “over-rotten”). And his antics with longtime comedy partner Alex Crawford.
After the casually paced program, the stars mingle in the lobby with fans old and young, signing autographs and posing for pictures.
Heritage Square may not be Coors Field, but for these enamored fans, it’s definitely big-league fun.
John Moore: 303-954-1056 or jmoore@denverpost.com
“The Pinh Hitter” *** (out of four stars)
Heritage Square Music Hall, 18301 W. Colfax Ave., Golden. Starring T.J. Mullin, Annie Dwyer, Alex Crawford, Rory Pierce, Kira Cauthorn, Scott Koop, Charlie Schmidt and Randy Johnson. Through May 23. 2 hours, 30 minutes. 7 p.m. Thursdays (and selected Wednesdays; 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays; 2 p.m. Sundays (dinner 2 hours before). $27.50-$31 (show only); $35.50-$40.50 (with dinner). 303-279-7800 or
