PARKER — What would you rather watch — Michelangelo paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel or Tom Sawyer paint a picket fence? Leonard Bernstein serve as the conductor of the New York Philharmonic or Fat-Trap Baker serve as a conductor on the B&M line? Anna Pavlova performing with the Imperial Russian Ballet or Shannen Doherty doing a samba on “Dancing With The Stars”?
At noon Saturday, who would you rather have watched play golf — Tom Watson, Tom Kite, Tom Lehman, Fred Couples and Mark O’Meara, or maybe Bryce Molder, Jason Bohn, Brian Davis, Kris Blanks and Jeff Overton?
The first five have won dozens of PGA tournaments, major championships, international competitions, hundreds of millions of dollars and the hearts of golf galleries everywhere.
The other five are players you’ve barely, or never, heard of.
If the Senior PGA Championship in suburban Denver had the knowns, the junior varsity Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas, had the unknowns, particularly after Phil Mickelson missed the cut.
The final threesome Saturday at the Colorado Golf Club featured Couples, Lehman and Kite, who have played in Ryder and Presidents cups, who have captained both, who have won the Masters and the British and the U.S. Open. I’m sure Molder, Bohn and Davis have won something sometime and maybe captained their high school golf teams.
Oddly enough, though, Kite, Lehman and Couples have not won the PGA Championship on either tour. But a couple of them, Couples and Lehman, may today. Lehman is tied for the lead at 6-under, and Couples is tied for third three back.
Kite was flying in the wind Saturday and ballooned to a 79. O’Meara — who has won himself a Masters and a British Open (both in 1998) — is with Couples at 4-under 212 after a tidy 67.
Should be a fantastic finish at the tough-as-tar terrain that is a Bo Derek (a “10” on the difficult meter, Couples says).
Couples — with a fabled start in his first year on the AARP Tour — began Saturday with a slight advantage over Kite and Lehman.
At the par-5, 580-yard seventh hole, Couples was on the smooth surface in two, and his playing partners were off the green to the side and the back. Kite nudged his ball up and missed his birdie putt, Lehman was short on his attempt for a four, and Couples two-putted and seemed to be in control of the tournament. Kite had gone bogey, double bogey, bogey, bogey, bogey (on holes 4-8) and became the bogeyman.
Then it was Couples’ turn to have a brain burp around the turn from 9-12, with a bogey, double bogey, bogey and bogey. The 10th was particularly gnawing. He three-putted from 3 feet.
Couples could have disappeared with Kite but recovered with birdie-birdie, then parred in.
Lehman, a journeyman early in his career before developing into a star man, kept plugging away Saturday while the other two went on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
His front side produced one birdie and no bogeys, and Lehman added birdies on Nos. 14 and 16. At the 17th, however, Lehman created his own mess — a triple-bogey on a par 3.
“I hit a good tee shot, which is unusual to say when you make a 6.”
But his 7-iron landed shy, bit the lip of the bunker and created a hole for a prairie dog. “I hit two sand shots, and I would like to . . . (Lehman paused) . . . well, all I can say is there was a lot of sand in the bunker.” There are other things he would have uttered alone in a port-o-potty. “The second bunker shot kicked off the green and went in the rough. And I chipped up and two-putted for an easy triple.”
In front of an exceptionally large audience following the well-known trio, Lehman could have crawled home, but stuck the landing for a birdie at 18 — and was tied with Jay Don Bobby Joe Blake. (I’m kidding about the last two first and middle names.)
Meanwhile, Brian and Bryce are the leaders in Fort Worth — a city jealous of Parker.
Lehman was 1-under for the day, Couples 3-over, Kite 7-over. Too bad they weren’t playing a best-ball. They would have shot 66. (David Frost had a 65 by himself.)
On the eighth hole — a 308-yard par-4 that can be reached rather easily in one shot — two of the all-time greatest players couldn’t get on in two shots. Couples landed in the sand, then came up short; Kite was in the left rough and also short-sheeted.
“The beauty of the 300-yard hole is that if you don’t hit a really good (tee ball), you probably can’t get your second shot on the green,” Lehman said.
The eighth has allowed three eagles and 99 birdies, but the Venus Flytrap also has forced 61 bogeys and five double bogeys.
Lehman and O’Meara will play in the last threesome today with Blake.
But just ahead will be Couples, who is just behind. And seven other majors champions are still in the field.
Who do you want to watch — these great artists or those other guys?
Woody Paige: 303-954-1095 or wpaige@denverpost.com
