If you’re a conspiracy theorist, go ahead and don purple and hope Texas Christian continues a long history of BCS-busting. But for all you traditionalists who can’t appreciate three military academies going bowling the same year, sink your teeth into a blockbuster of a BCS Championship. Bring plenty of fluids, food and a calculator. And don’t toss those leftovers. Two more games were added to this season’s bowl schedule, which begins at noon Saturday with the New Mexico Bowl. So take heart, Colorado. All you need for a bowl bid is a football and a pulse. Here’s the looooong lineup below. (All times MST).
Don’t-leave-TV-even-during-fire bowls
BCS CHAMPIONSHIP, GLENDALE, ARIZ., JAN. 10, 6:30 P.M.
No. 2 Oregon (12-0) vs. No. 1 Auburn (13-0)
Auburn has the best player in the country, Cam Newton, and Oregon is the highest-scoring team in the country. Overshoot a commercial bathroom break and you’ll miss two TDs. Auburn’s rush defense is excellent, but its pass defense is questionable. Oregon’s fire-drill pace should present major problems.
ROSE BOWL, PASADENA, CALIF., JAN. 1, 2:30 P.M.
No. 4 Wisconsin (11-1) vs. No. 3 Texas Christian (12-0)
TCU must fend for the little non-AQ contingent alone after Boise State’s pratfall. The Horned Frogs are little in more ways than one against Wisconsin’s behemoth offensive line. But if speed kills, then TCU’s top-ranked defense should slow the Badgers’ running game. If not, well, the Mountain West can just shut up.
ORANGE BOWL, MIAMI, JAN. 3, 6 P.M.
No. 12 Virginia Tech (11-2) vs. No. 5 Stanford (11-1)
Frank Beamer has a month to figure out how to stop quarterback Andrew Luck, the best NFL prospect in the country. But Tech has won 11 in a row and has stout pass defense.
SUGAR BOWL, NEW ORLEANS, JAN. 4, 6 P.M.
No. 8 Arkansas (10-2) vs. No. 6 Ohio State (11-1)
How do you crack a Buckeye? Use a hammer from the SEC. Ohio State is 0-9 all time against the SEC in bowl games. The Buckeyes’ second-ranked defense could give quarterback Ryan Mallet fits.
Better-than-you-think bowls
CAPITAL ONE BOWL, ORLANDO, FLA., JAN. 1, 11 A.M.
No. 15 Alabama (9-3) vs. No. 7 Michigan State (11-1)
“Capital One Bowl” doesn’t yet bring up images of framed, dog-eared programs and grainy highlight reels, but this is still a classic matchup. Alabama has potent offense, and Spartans’ one bad day against Iowa cost them a BCS bid.
ARMED FORCES BOWL, FORT WORTH, TEXAS, DEC. 30, 10 A.M.
Army (6-6) vs. Southern Methodist (7-6)
Even if you’re not into the nostalgia of seeing Army in its first bowl since 1996, appreciate this classic contrast in styles. Army’s triple option is ninth nationally in rushing, and June Jones’ passing attack has made SMU relevant again.
INDEPENDENCE BOWL, SHREVEPORT, LA., DEC. 27, 3 P.M.
Georgia Tech (6-6) vs. Air Force (8-4)
Or, if you’re not into contrasting styles, how about the same styles? Exactly. Georgia Tech (327 yards per game) and Air Force (318) are the poster boys of the triple option and stand 1-2 nationally in rushing.
FIGHT HUNGER BOWL, SAN FRANCISCO, JAN. 9, 7 P.M.
Boston College (7-5) vs. No. 13 Nevada (12-1)
Four quarterbacks in FBS history have rushed for 20 touchdowns and passed for 20. You can probably guess the first three: Texas’ Vince Young, Florida’s Tim Tebow and Auburn’s Cam Newton. The fourth? Nevada’s Colin Kaepernick did it this season.
TEXAS BOWL, HOUSTON, DEC. 29, 4 P.M.
Illinois (6-6) vs. Baylor (7-5)
Their records hide exciting offenses. Both have dynamic dual- threat quarterbacks in Illinois’s Nathan Scheelhaase and Baylor’s Robert Griffin III. Mikel Leshoure’s 330 yards rushing against Northwestern was the best performance at Wrigley Field since Kerry Wood struck out 20 Astros in 1998.
Worse-than-you-think bowls
FIESTA BOWL, GLENDALE, ARIZ., JAN. 1, 6:30 P.M.
No. 25 Connecticut (8-4) vs. No. 9 Oklahoma (11-2)
Putting UConn in a BCS bowl is like putting Pee Wee Herman on Broadway. UConn is here only because it won the Big Least behind the nation’s No. 2 rusher Jordan Todman (143.0). Maybe OU coach Bob Stoops can end his five-game BCS bowl losing streak.
CHICK-FIL-A BOWL, ATLANTA, DEC. 31, 5:30 P.M.
No. 23 Florida State (9-4) vs. No. 19 South Carolina (9-4)
Losers of the ACC and SEC title games square off in a meaningless game sponsored by a fast-food chain.
Switch-to-jewelry-TV-channel bowls
MUSIC CITY BOWL, NASHVILLE, TENN., DEC. 30, 4:40 P.M.
Tennessee (6-6) vs. North Carolina (7-5)
Tennessee won its last four games to qualify. It’s a bad SEC team playing a North Carolina team savaged by player suspensions in August. Both have lousy offenses.
GODADDY.COM BOWL, MOBILE, ALA., JAN. 6, 6 P.M.
Middle Tennessee (6-6) vs. Miami (Ohio) (9-4)
Unless you want to see rising star Mike Haywood, who took a 1-11 Miami (Ohio) team picked last in the MAC East and led it to the conference title in his second year, this is no jewel.
HUMANITARIAN BOWL, BOISE, IDAHO, SATURDAY, 3:30 P.M.
Fresno State (8-4) vs. Northern Illinois (10-3)
Fresno State did not beat any FBS teams with a winning record. Little interest in this game outside the San Joaquin Valley and the northern part of Illinois.
Unemployment bowls
BBVA COMPASS BOWL, BIRMINGHAM, ALA., JAN. 6, 10 A.M.
Kentucky (6-6) vs. Pittsburgh (7-5)
Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt has been fired but will coach one last game for his alma mater.
SUN BOWL, EL PASO, DEC. 31, NOON
Notre Dame (7-5) vs. Miami (7-5)
Miami axed coach Randy Shannon, leaving it rudderless against a hot Notre Dame team which still has pull. Sun Bowl is sold out.
Inaugural why bowls
PINSTRIPE BOWL, NEW YORK, DEC. 30, 1:20 P.M.
Kansas State (7-5) vs. Syracuse (7-5)
Kansas State goes from Manhattan, Kan., to the Manhattan with streetlights as new Yankee Stadium unlocks its doors for its first bowl game.
TICKETCITY BOWL, DALLAS, JAN. 1, 10 A.M.
Northwestern (7-5) vs. Texas Tech (7-5)
Ah, yes. It’s every kid’s dream to play Jan. 1 in a bowl named for a ticket broker. It’s played in the Cotton Bowl, which lost the Cotton Bowl to Arlington, Texas. The old cement lady will never look so shabby.
Not-you-again bowls
HOLIDAY BOWL, SAN DIEGO, DEC. 30, 8 P.M.
Washington (6-6) vs. No. 17 Nebraska (10-3)
If you have a rematch, do conference tie-ins have to force upon us this 56-21 klunker from September? Cornhuskers started QB Jake Locker into his free-fall into draft-day oblivion.
NEW MEXICO BOWL, ALBUQUERQUE, SATURDAY, NOON
Texas-El Paso (6-6) vs. Brigham Young (6-6)
From 1967-99, these two teams were WAC rivals but haven’t played since 1998. UTEP lost five of its last six getting ready for this big one.
NEW ORLEANS BOWL, NEW ORLEANS, SATURDAY, 7 P.M.
Troy (7-5) vs. Ohio (8-4)
Troy’s players can already smell the jambalaya. They should. It’s their third trip to this bowl in five years.
Trap bowl
LIBERTY BOWL, MEMPHIS, TENN., DEC. 31, 1:30 P.M.
Central Florida (10-3) vs. Georgia (6-6)
Georgia is a seven-point favorite. Expect a closer game. The Bulldogs lost to Colorado, for crying out loud.
Welcome-back bowls
MILITARY BOWL, WASHINGTON, DEC. 29, 12:30 P.M.
East Carolina (6-6) vs. Maryland (8-4)
Maryland redshirt freshman Danny O’Brien emerged from nowhere to throw for 2,257 yards and 21 touchdowns.
COTTON BOWL, ARLINGTON, TEXAS, JAN. 7, 6 P.M.
No. 18 Texas A&M (9-3) vs. No. 11 Louisiana State (10-2)
Because former Air Force defensive coordinator Tim DeRuyter improved a defense from 105th (426.3 ypg) to 51st (357.5), the Aggies are a force again.
Punt-frequent-flyer-miles bowls
POINSETTIA BOWL, SAN DIEGO, DEC. 23, 6 P.M.
Navy (9-3) at San Diego State (8-4)
Brady Hoke lifts San Diego State to its first bowl game in 12 years and the Aztecs don’t even get a pillow mint. In fact, Navy might be the crowd favorite.
HAWAII BOWL, HONOLULU, DEC. 24, 6 P.M.
Tulsa (9-3) at Hawaii (10-3)
Of the Rainbow Warriors’ 10 bowls, eight have been in Honolulu. Junior quarterback Bryant Moniz is the nation’s total offense leader (362 ypg).
Future Rockies bowl
CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL, ORLANDO, FLA., DEC. 28, 4:30 P.M.
North Carolina State (8-4) vs. No. 22 West Virginia (9-3)
Watch Rockies draft pick Russell Wilson lead N.C. State to its highest win total in eight years.
MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL, CHARLOTTE, N.C., DEC. 31, 10 A.M.
Clemson (6-6) vs. South Florida (7-5)
Clemson quarterback and first-round Rockies draft pick Kyle Parker had a rough season, with just 12 TDs and 10 interceptions.
DEA bowl
INSIGHT BOWL, TEMPE, ARIZ., DEC. 28, 8 P.M.
Iowa (7-5) vs. No. 14 Missouri (10-2)
Derrell Johnson-Koulianos did a nifty out pattern right out of an NFL career when Iowa’s all-time leading receiver was busted Tuesday for possession of cocaine and marijuana.
Rising-coaching-star bowl
BEEF ‘O’ BRADY BOWL, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA., DEC. 21, 6 P.M.
Louisville (6-6) vs. Southern Mississippi (8-4)
Charlie Strong has lived up to the reputation he built as Florida’s defensive coordinator. In his first year, he took a Louisville team picked seventh to its first bowl game in four years.
Retirement bowl
OUTBACK BOWL, TAMPA, FLA., JAN. 1, 11 A.M.
Penn St. (7-5) vs. Florida (7-5)
Urban Meyer’s decision to hang ’em up will be reinforced when he looks across the sideline and sees Joe Paterno still hanging on at 84.
First-time bowler bowl
LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA BOWL, DETROIT, DEC. 26, 6:30 P.M.
Florida International (6-6) vs. Toledo (8-4)
Nine years ago, the only football on FIU’s campus was intramurals. FIU has best defense in the Sun Belt, which lets them spend Christmas in Detroit.
Slaughter bowl
MAACO BOWL, LAS VEGAS, DEC. 22, 6 P.M.
No. 20 Utah (10-2) vs. No. 10 Boise State (11-1)
Broncos are a 17-point favorite against Utah team that collapsed near season’s end and will miss quarterback Jordan Wynn (shoulder). Senior Terrance Cain will start.
Hot-seat bowl
GATOR BOWL, JACKSONVILLE, FLA., JAN. 1, 11:30 A.M.
Michigan (7-5) vs. No. 21 Mississippi State (8-4)
Michigan AD Dave Brandon said he’ll evaluate coach Rich Rodriguez after the bowl game. It becomes much cheaper to fire him after Jan. 1.
Pac-10 vs. Big 12
ALAMO BOWL, SAN ANTONIO, DEC. 29, 7:15 P.M.
Arizona (7-5) vs. No. 16 Oklahoma State (10-2)
What’s the over/under on when the first Oklahoma State player asks 27-year-old quarterback Brandon Weeden, “Do you really remember the Alamo?”
