Wednesday night, while watching the new-look, Melo-less Nuggets fly to the hoop with the greatest of ease, I came to a sad realization.
I will never dunk.
Certainly not on a regulation 10-foot hoop, and never in a game — pickup or otherwise. Now, give me one of those schoolyard 8-foot rims and watch out! Although I think I’ll forgo trying a 360-degree slam … I don’t want to cripple my middle-aged body.
I did dunk a volleyball, once, back in college, when my white man’s vertical leap still allowed me to clear a Sunday New York Times.
Anyway, this sad, long overdue realization got me thinking. If I could pick one athletic feat — one shining moment — that I could still accomplish in my life, what would it be?
My first thought was to be able to shoot a hole-in-one, but I quickly dismissed that. You can be the worst hacker in the world and still luck into an ace.
Complete a marathon? I suppose I could do that, but I don’t want to.
Finish a modified triathlon? I don’t want to drown. That would be embarrassing.
Bowl a perfect game? Yawn …
Then it hit me like a thunderbolt! I want to hit a home run!
Oh sure, I hit a few Little League home runs back in the day. They were either inside-the-park jobs, or one of those holy rollers that goes on forever because there’s no outfield fence. But I never hit a baseball over the fence.
I did hit an over-the-fence homer in softball once. Does that count?
What I want to do is hit a baseball over the fence at Coors Field. Just one homer, during batting practice, on a perfectly grooved pitch at just the right speed. I want to hear the crack of the bat and see the ball soar over the green wall.
I could train and practice, and ask Tulo and Cargo for tips.
Sure, I tell myself, I could that!
But then I imagine someone laughing his posterior off as I take my sorry hacks. That would be one Todd Helton, the irascible Rockies star with a wicked sense of humor.
Can you imagine me trying to hit a BP homer at Coors while Helton snickers outside the cage? Me neither.
So much for my field of dreams. What’s yours?
Trivia time
Watching Wednesday’s Spurs-Nuggets game conjured up a great basketball memory. Here’s your question: What historic event involving a Nuggets star and a Spurs star occurred on the final day of the 1978 NBA season? (Answer below)
Polling
In Wednesday’s “Lunch Special” poll, I asked readers why the Duke basketball program is so hated. The poll finished in essentially a tie between the top-two vote getters. About 31 percent said the Duke hatred stems from the media’s infatuation with Duke, while 29 percent said Duke is perceived as an elitist school.
Quotable
“We need to relax, we are putting too much pressure on ourselves. We need to relax and have fun. I don’t think there’s no fun in the game and we need to bring it back.”
— Carmelo Anthony to the New York media after the Knicks lost 111-99 to Orlando Wednesday night, dropping the Knicks under .500 for the first time since late November.
Reader’s rant
“I’ve only been able to watch a few games this spring, but Helton’s swing does look 1,000 times better than last year. No dipping the left side, far fewer moving parts – much more of a low-and-hard line drive swing than we saw from him in 2010. Hopefully that will translate into much better production.”
— Northsider, posting on the Post’s recent story about Helton’s spring training.
Trivia answer
On April 9, 1978, the Spurs’ George “Iceman” Gervin edged out the Nuggets’ David Thompson for the NBA scoring crown. How it went down is a remarkable story.
Thompson and Gervin competed all year for the scoring title, and they entered the final day of the regular season separated by the slimmest of margins. Gervin was averaging 26.8 points per game, Thompson 26.6.
The Nuggets played an afternoon game against the Pistons. Thompson, constantly fed by his teammates, scored 73 points. He shot 28-of-38 from the field and was 17-of-20 at the line. By halftime, Thompson had 53 points.
That night, against the Jazz in New Orleans, Gervin scored 63 points, taking 49 shots, to win the title. His coach was Doug Moe.
“I only needed 58 to regain the lead from David,” Gervin told last year. “Once I got to 60, I told Doug to let me get a couple more, just in case they miscalculated.”
Gervin finished the season averaging 27.22 points per game to Thompson’s 27.15. The margin was the tightest in NBA history.
Patrick Saunders: 303-954-1428 or psaunders@denverpost.com
