Dear Amy: I am a junior in high school.
I am a good student, a member of many clubs and organizations, and I play a varsity sport.
My family is very close-knit.
I have never given my parents any reason not to trust me. I don’t drink or party, I never use profanity, and I always try to please them.
Recently, I got a Facebook page. My parents check it once a day, though they don’t have Facebook themselves (other relatives are on Facebook).
My family seems to think that they should have jurisdiction over what I post.
For example, if I post “rough day today,” they tell me that I’m moping and to get over myself.
If I post that I received an award, they’ll tell me I sound arrogant.
I had to take down pictures from my homecoming dance because my aunt and my grandmother called my mother to say I looked like a prostitute because I wore makeup.
I feel as if they control me so much that I can’t create my own identity.
I know they’re looking out for me, but it hurts when your mother tells you family members think you look like a prostitute.
I love them very much, but I wish my parents would let me live my own life.
Do I just sound like a whining teenager? — Stressed Teen
Dear Teen: From my perspective, your folks are lucky you haven’t pushed back in the knee-jerk and (sometimes foolish) way that teens do when they feel smothered. Your parents are being very disrespectful.
However, Facebook is public (to a degree).
If your folks didn’t look over your shoulder at your postings, other family members would report you to them.
Keep a diary (offline), and if someone in your family insults you, respond to them by saying, “Wow. That hurt my feelings. I deserve better.”
Dear Amy: Our next-door neighbors are lovely people from a prominent family.
We live in an upscale neighborhood of tall, close-together brownstones, and they moved in last month.
I have multiple allergies.
Unfortunately, I’ve spent several days in misery since they moved in.
They have a dryer exhaust that vents toward our house.
Sometimes it blows for hours, and it is saturated with the chemicals and the scent of dryer sheets. These chemicals are making my brain swim.
We have a huge amount invested in our home, and our son is in school here. Moving is not an option. Do you have any thoughts on how to approach this? — Dizzy
Dear Dizzy: You would contemplate moving before you contemplate having a conversation?
Contact your neighbors to see if you can pop by.
Re-introduce yourself.
Then say, “I have a favor to ask.” Tell them how you are reacting to their vented dryer and ask if there is a way they can mitigate it. Would it help you if they didn’t use dryer sheets? If they were willing to vent their dryer over the roof, would you pay for the work?
Start there.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
