Like many Americans, I’ve had a rough time as of late — okay, for a few years now — but it’s difficult to wallow in self- pity when there also are so many good things happening. Or maybe not. I don’t know about you, but I can find plenty of reasons to grumble under my breath when the chips seem to continually fall down, down, down. But don’t you find that just when you’re about to give it all up, throw in the towel and lose faith in humanity – that’s when you realize just how good you have it?
America is such a go-go, win, take-charge society, sometimes it’s easy to feel like a failure if/when you don’t “take the bull by the horns,” or “get a handle on the situation.” What I’ve come to realize, however, is that “letting go,” isn’t the same as “giving up.” Sometimes we think we have control over things that we don’t. The old saying advises, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome,” but I’m thinking it’s pure insanity to worry, angst, and waste effort over items that just are beyond our grasp – even if they seem like they are not.
For example, I recently moved. Like many of us, my hectic schedule demands constant attention, and I didn’t think down time could be afforded. So I made a goal of becoming “completely settled,” something I haven’t been for almost four years now. To achieve this goal took an army of specialists: Movers, handymen, professional organizers, closet stylists, furniture people, and of course, friends. Judge if you like, but I was willing to pour any resources I could afford into ensuring my new place would be “up and running,” in record time. Alas, two months later, and after suffering through instruction-challenged movers, lackadaisical installers and severe allergic reactions to who-knows-what in my new place, I’m moving again. So much for being settled.
And as the days wound on and challenges kept coming, I grew more and more weary – physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. The more weary I became, it seemed the meaner people acted. Not over-the-top, dictator-type mean, just everyday snide remark, insidious-tone, passive-aggressive mean. My usual nonchalant, confident and chipper self was no longer front and center, and it felt like people sensed this and took the opportunity to wield the upper hand. Typically the optimist, I began to lose my faith in people. “Wow,” I thought. “I hope I don’t treat others this way.
But I see things more clearly now. Looking back, it’s easier to realize I was on such a mission, holding on so tightly, wound so tightly in pursuit of my goal that I wonder if others were reacting to the erratic energy that undoubtedly surrounded my being. So I surrendered. I had given my all, and it was time to let “it” be and accept that I may not be settled, as I wanted.
Suddenly, the tension held in my shoulders loosened. My smile returned. And while the grocery clerk wouldn’t take the temporary check from my new bank account, the young man behind me offered to pay for my groceries. Then my subdivision didn’t charge double when I occupied two homes at once during the move. I was so amazed. These gestures were unexpected, and completely lifted my spirits.
With newfound faith, I revel in humanity’s ability to wield power – positive and negative, and in our own ability to conjure reactions from others. So, whenever life seems to get you down from the outside, with issues, challenges, obstacles incessantly thrown in your path – remember that it may just be insanity to try to control what’s outside of us. And that we have complete control over what’s within.
Doni Luckutt is a lifestyle expert who believes by enhancing interpersonal connection, we can stop simply living, and become Simply Alive! If you have a suggestion on what brings you to life, connect with her on Twitter @SimplyAlive, via e-mail Doni@SimplyAliveWorld.com or on her blog:
