Dear Amy: I am a 21-year-old girl living with my parents while I try to get my housecleaning business started. I was paying rent but lately I have been refusing to do so.
My parents refuse to repair my bedroom, which is over the garage and has no insulation.
In the winter it is absolutely freezing. I had a water bottle freeze overnight several times last winter. The window leaks, the tiles in the bathroom leak into the wall behind my bedroom, and the moisture has caused mold in the walls and carpet. I am allergic to mold and get asthma attacks.
I have offered to pay for repairs, but they refused and said the area doesn’t need fixing.
When they started making me pay rent I expected the money to go toward fixing the problems with my room, but instead they used this money for my sister’s college fund.
My boyfriend (who is an engineering technician) told me he would be happy to fix the room for just the cost of materials. He said it wouldn’t even cost that much.
My parents also refuse to allow this.
Am I wrong to withhold rent until the mold, window and insulation problems are fixed? I know that they are landlords but I don’t see why I should be paying for my sister to be living in a nice on-campus apartment while I am freezing here at home. — Cold and Breathless
Dear Cold: Your parents are telling you through their actions that they don’t want to be landlords. You have tried every reasonable measure to fix this problem, but they are not being reasonable.
This situation is bad for your health and for your relationship with your family, and so I suggest that you find another, healthier living situation.
You are starting a cleaning business. You should see if you could rent a room in a private home or share a place with a friend. You might be able to barter a few hours a week of cleaning services in exchange for rent (spell out everything in writing).
Winter is coming and you don’t have time to continue to negotiate with your parents.
Dear Amy: My son married a gal from another country, and when I get together with her family they don’t speak English. I feel they are speaking about me and I don’t like it.
I am a widow. In the past I have sat on my own in the living room with a magazine to keep me company. Now with the holidays coming again I am thinking of staying home.
They are nice people but this is America, and here we speak English. My grandparents came from another country but they spoke English in the home.
Do you have any suggestions on what to do? — Lost in Translation
Dear Lost: I would venture a guess that at some point in your family’s history, they, too, resided on the cusp of two languages, just as this family is. However, if these family members are able to speak English, then they should speak English when you are with them.
You should simply say, “Can you speak English? I’d love to understand what you’re saying.”
And where are your son and daughter-in-law? You should ask them to translate.
Write to askamy@tribune.com or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
