Mary J. Blige blinked back tears and buried her head in her hands when she recently heard “Need Someone,” an emotional ballad off her new album “My Life II … The Journey Continues (Act 1).” The song, said Blige, is actually an ode to her younger, more troubled self.
“From where you stand there’s no way to change it, no way to make it make sense and it’s lonely there in the spotlight,” she sings over lush strings and piano.
“Well honey, don’t I understand you need someone to love you.”
Blige, 40, is revisiting — and comforting — her 23-year-old self for a reason. On Monday, she released her 10th album, a sequel to 1994’s “My Life,” the classic that catapulted her to R&B stardom and exposed her seemingly endless personal turmoil. Back then, she struggled to overcome a well-documented battle with drugs and alcohol, clinical depression and a tumultuous, tabloid-making relationship with K-Ci Hailey of Jodeci.
“This is the Mary from ‘My Life’ and the Mary today that still has challenges,” Blige said, referring to herself while perched in an oversized chair in her suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel. “We all have a moment where we’ve slipped into darkness … and at the end of the day, like the song says, the only person who we need to love us, is us.”
Since being branded the “queen of hip-hop soul” some 17 years ago, Blige has delivered on the moniker. She’s found crossover success in the pop world while continuing to deliver resilient R&B anthems that pair gut-wrenching lyrics with hard-knocking hip-hop beats.
While the emotional tumult made for gripping music, it wreaked havoc on her personal life. “I knew at some point I was going to die,” said Blige. “I was starting to feel like I didn’t want to be here.”
After hitting bottom, she turned to her Christian faith, abstained from drugs and drinking and released “No More Drama” in 2001. She also found love and in 2003 married record executive Kendu Isaacs, who now manages her career. She credits him as a saving force that helped her overcome her demons.
So why revisit the album that earmarked her lowest point?
“I was in so much pain, and I had no idea that so many people were in pain with me,” said Blige, who’s forged an unusually deep connection with fans. At her shows, male and female fans can still be seen weeping and chanting every word of her songs.
When “My Life” debuted in 1994, it was a public cry for help. Produced by rap kingpin and mentor Sean “Diddy” Combs and peppered with samples of Curtis Mayfield, Roy Ayers, Teddy Pendergrass, Marvin Gaye and Rick James, Blige’s raw, heartbreaking vocals stood out among her more subdued R&B peers. She begged, she cried and she hurt — but most of all, she hit a personal chord with listeners.
As a result, “My Life” was named the most successful R&B album on Billboard’s year-end chart in 1995.
Blige initially didn’t want to look back at that painful time, and when asked if she realized how deeply the disc would touch others, she shakes her head in disbelief.
“I was so messed up,” she said. “I needed it to help me. I really needed to be happy. I wasn’t thinking it would end up as an anthem.”
Combs, however, knew Blige would connect. “Mary was every girl, Mary was your sister, your ex-girlfriend, the girl you loved. … I knew there was magic in that, there was magic in the pain.”
In recent years, online reviews by fans have shown a growing dissatisfaction with Blige’s healthier, happier self.
On her new album, tracks such as “No Condition” and the Drake-assisted “Mr. Wrong” show a wiser Blige in much more control of her aching.
The singer wants the album to show that despite everything, finding and accepting herself is what keeps her going.
“We are strong and we can do anything. We’ve learned to love ourselves even through trials and darkness. That’s the only way to continue this journey,” she says.
