Despite the Internet leakage just over a week ago, Lindsay Lohan’s hoo-hahs are flying off the convenience store secret shelves. Hugh Hefner tweeted it, so it must be true: @HughHefner: “The Lindsay Lohan January-February Double Issue is breaking sales records.”
The Playboy shoot, which has received major criticism from fans and foes alike, mirrors Marilyn Monroe by way of big blonde hair and lots of lip. Not particularly original, as Lohan did a similarly themed shoot in 2006 for Vanity Fair and again in 2008 for New York Magazine.
Not so sure this was a smart move for Lohan, then again, not many of her job choices have been as of late (see ). But hey, the downward spiral of a corkscrew has to end eventually, right? Some are seeing this spread as a nail to close the coffin over her career.
Others are seeing the Playboy gig as a damn shame. A waste of talent photoshopped into oblivion. Lohan started off so strong playing tween twins in the 1998 remake of “The Parent Trap.” Remember how impressive that English accent was for an 11-year-old? The Disney Channel snatched her up quick; Lohan made it big with “Mean Girls” in 2004 and a mediocre stint as a musician came soon after. Then the screw started turning.
LiLo broke OUR hearts, it’s true. It seemed like her painful “pop-rock” singles drove her directly to DUIs, drug busts, thievery, jail time and now this: a million bucks worth of airbrushing that turned quickly aged freckles into faux flawless perfection and finally gave us proof that those breasts everyone once argued were silicone are now real. We gotta admit, they look good.
And the public is not shy about its opinions. Some of the funniest consumer comments come from Entertainment Weekly’s “Pop Watch,” where “YouStupid” asks, “Did Hefner ask his staff to go out and buy all these Playboy magainzes ? Who’s in the right mind to buy this issue? I guess there’s a sucker born every second.” Never a thread without the preacher, “Concerned” adds, “Lindsay Lohan needs PRAYER !!!!!!!!!!!!”
That’s a lot of exclamation points. The general public is past the point of concern, “Concerned.” While these nudie photos will get millions of once-overs, LiLo doesn’t need the shit that’ll come from the top of this stack of poor decisions. What LiLo really needs is help. At 25, this girl has gone through more than Britney, and that’s saying a lot. Please, Linds, learn a lesson from your 2004 album and let it be “Over.”
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Allison Berger is a Philadelphia-based writer and a pop music columnist for Reverb. Check out more of her writing
