Here’s a question for you. Yes, you, sitting there at your cubicle, perusing while putting off those .
Could you, right now, play in a high-school football game and, on 12 carries, gain 30 yards?
Taking these arbitrary numbers, this became a great debate we had in The Denver Post newsroom. Right away I said yes. Easy, right?
I work out (on Thursdays). I know the game. I break down game film (with Chris Berman and Tom Jackson). Heck, my first son will be named Benjamin Tecmo Bowl Hochman.
No, but let’s get serious. Could a random adult man throw on pads and rush for 30 yards on 12 carries? That’s 2.5 yards per carry. It sounds pretty easy.
Now, right away, there are questions.
• How good is your offensive line?
• How good is the defense, compared to your offensive line?
• What are the field conditions, time and score of the game, and how much did you have to drink the night before?
So I decided to G-chat Brian. My buddy would surely have some good insight on all of this.
Brian: I think you could do it.
Me: Like, honestly?
Brian: Well that’s an average of 2.5 yards per carry. So … if the O-line gets any kind of push at all, and you just get back to the line and fall forward each time, I think you’re looking at 15 yards on 12 carries right there. So I’m essentially saying I have confidence that three or four times out of 12 you’ll do something more than just that.
Me: Right. But … any tackle behind the line of scrimmage, and I’m screwed.
Brian: Right. That’s why whether you do or do not get 30 yards on 12 carries is almost completely out of your control.
Me: But let’s say the two lines were neutralized …
Brian: Oh. Then I say no way.
Brian (alas) makes some good points. I guess, personally, my confidence is that I could gain 2-3 yards on many of the carries. But … BUT … there would definitely be some plays in which I get tackled behind the line of scrimmage. And I don’t foresee myself breaking off any big runs. Or, as my friend Graham put it, “I have no confidence in your ability to juke any linebackers.”
So I just don’t think I could make up any negative yards with any runs longer than 2-3 yards. And really, I wonder if I could’ve even done so when I was a star athlete at Clayton High School (OK, OK, I batted ninth for the baseball team). So basically, if I couldn’t have done it then, I surely can’t do it now at the age of, um, 24.
How about you — could you do it?
Benjamin Hochman: 303-954-1294, bhochman@denverpost.com or twitter.com/nuggetsnews
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