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Dear J.T. & Dale: I’m a lower-level manager who supervises 10 employees. I look for ways to encourage morale and inspire employees by planning special events to recognize them. I’m sorry to say that the employees seem to take these perks for granted. I am “old school,” but I find it inconceivable that these young employees seem to have forgotten how to say “thanks.” Suggestions? – Ivy

J.T.: I often hear from “old school” managers who wonder what has happened with the younger generation of workers. You could blame their parents, but where does that get you? And now, lecturing your employees on gratitude isn’t enough; they need to see how it will benefit them. Here’s what I suggest: Have a team meeting and explain that you are going to stop the perks because they cost time and money. Explain that the lack of appreciation indicates to you that you are wasting your efforts. Tell them that if they want to continue them for one another, they’ll have to set it up on their own.

DALE: Oh, that’s too sad. Here’s another approach, one I learned from taking a Dale Carnegie course when I was a young employee. At a staff meeting, give an assignment that, sometime in the coming week, each of them will compliment the work of a colleague. At
the next meeting, you’ll go around and have everyone report on what transpired. The results will astound you and them. Repeat until it’s a habit.

J.T.: Fine, but I’d do that as part of putting the onus back on the team to organize its
own recognition events. It’s time to start coaching your employees on the career advantages of courtesy and encouragement. I know you think it was their parents’ job to do the above, but alas, it didn’t happen. Now, instead of just observing the problem, you can create
a solution.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I was let go from my last job for making a comment that a female co-worker took as harassment. I wasn’t convicted of a crime, but it sure feels that way. I’ve had six job interviews, and no matter how I try to explain what happened, I can tell it’s costing me the job. What should I say?– “Tim”

DALE: This is a case where the minute you start to explain, you’ve lost. If someone at a company hires you despite knowing that you were fired for sexual harassment and then you harass one of the employees, he or she is guilty of ignoring the danger. (I know it hurts to be “the danger” in that sentence, but that’s how they see it.) That’s why you can’t even start the harassment conversation.

J.T.: You’re proposing that he just lie and hope for the best?

DALE: He’s got to find a better truth. As he says, he was NOT convicted of any crime. Further, I’ll take his word that he did not
harass anyone. So, what does that make it? A dispute with a co-worker. Perhaps, in retrospect, she was out to undermine him, and management was forced to take sides. That’s a useful truth. And unless your old employer is telling people you were fired for sexual harassment (highly unlikely), then that’s a truth that will set you free.

J.T.: Whenever you’re fired, your next employer wants to see, hear and truly feel that you have learned from the experience. If you aren’t coming across as remorseful, then you are sending the message that you don’t think you did anything wrong, and that means you’re likely to do it again. Instead, let them know that you know you need to be a model of professionalism in your next role. In fact, you’ll need to emphasize that the employer who takes you on will get the best-ever employee because you’ll be working hard to rebuild your reputation. In short, they have to see a real upside to hiring you, and that is your desire to work hard for them to make up for what has happened. If you can’t do that, you will continue to find employers passing on you as a candidate.
Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com.

– Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com.
漏2012 King Features Syndicate