Shopping for your first apartment or house can be heady with thoughts of the future. Shopping for the community where you’ll spend your last years on Earth … not so much.
“People wait for a crisis to happen instead of planning,” says Cathy Grimm, director of at .
“I know people in their 60s who don’t have a medical , who don’t have a , who don’t know the , or how quickly they can go through every asset they have in of . It’s denial. It’s a crisis waiting to happen.”
Let’s return to that comparison of hunting for your first home. Would holding the keys have been if your parents had decided on which place was right for you?
Because it’s the adult children who do the choosing when their aging parents need to make the move from a longtime home to a senior community. And — surprise! — the elders don’t like ceding autonomy any more than young adults do.
By , a record Americans will be , double the current number in that age category. Where will they live?
What are the options?
One is staying put, known as “aging in place,” preferably in a , which may sound like a but stands for Naturally Occurring Retirement Community. In other words, that neighborhood you chose, back when the kids were little, because of all the families, now is full of graying parents like you.
Another option is moving. Ready for more acronyms? Choices here range from a retirement community with a minimum age for residents (55-plus), or a , a continuing-care retirement community, which offers independent living, assisted living, memory care (for residents with progressive dementia) and long-term care (formerly known as nursing-home care).
Neither option is cheap. Staying at home means retrofitting your home to prevent falls, relocating your washer/dryer, bathroom and bedroom on the main floor, and making it wheelchair-accessible with lowered counters, shelves, drawers and modified appliances.
Expect to Keep that amount and help when the time comes. (You’ll laugh at yourself, sort of, for thinking that your child’s college expenses were outlandish.)
The second option — moving — requires clear-eyed pragmatism. If you’re under age 80 and physically and mentally agile, relocating to a smaller townhome, apartment or villa at a senior .
But those communities may not offer all the levels of care required as you become less agile. That , this time to a CCRC or to an independent facility exclusively offering memory care or long-term care for residents.
“Moving is stressful, especially for the elderly, and studies have shown that moving multiple times has physical and psychological impacts,” said Penny Cook, executive director of the , a watchdog organization dedicated to improving the state’s elder-care communities.
“When I worked in a hospital, and elderly patients came in after a stroke or a fractured hip, many of them never got to say goodbye to their home before their children moved them. They never got to pack their own things. They never had closure. They were taken to a new environment where everything was different.”
That’s another reason for aging adults to school themselves in hardheaded thinking. Cook and other elder-care experts say that people do best when they can remain in the same area, at home or in a senior community, where they’ve spent their younger years.
“That’s probably one of the most important things for quality of life: familiar surroundings, and a social life,” Cook said.
“Your friends are still there. The neighborhood store where you shop is still there. The situations when adult children move their older parents out to be near them, those don’t work out so well. For the parents, it’s a foreign environment, and they’re basically stuck.”
Whether the choice is staying in place or making a move to a senior community, it’s important to remain engaged in the local community. Three successful models: senior community in Highlands Ranch, at Lowry, and in Loveland.
“Loveland is interesting because it’s one of the first cities, I believe, in the country that’s a naturally occurring retirement community,” Cook said.
“The Loveland Housing Authority is looking not only at the Mirasol campus, but at Loveland itself, and what sorts of services and components need to be in place to support the people who are already there.”
Cathy Grimm believes Wind Crest, SAGE, Crestmoor Downs and Mirasol offer models for other senior communities and NORCs, especially in encouraging senior residents to be active in their neighborhoods.
“It’s based on social engagement, with seniors running the program, telling us what they want and when they need it, truly having a guiding voice in what they do,” Grimm said.
Claire Martin: 303-954-1477, cmartin@denverpost.com or twitter.com/byclairemartin
Making the decision
Thinking about whether to remain at home or make the move to a senior retirement community? Ask yourself these questions.
If your answers are mostly “Yes,” start looking at retirement communities, or begin getting estimates on remodeling projects that will make your home suitable for an aging resident.
Review your monthly budget, and break it down into what you spend on food, medical care, social activities (including health clubs, church and hobbies), transportation (gas, car maintenance or calculate time per trip as well as fare cost for public transit).
What to ask about senior living
Request a copy of the facility’s audited financial statements. Compare the facility’s days of cash on hand with that of similar facilities. Look at the facility’s cash-to-debt ratio, and compare that to other facilities.
