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Getting your player ready...

Dear J.T. & DALE: I just had a second interview and asked them when they would be making their decision. The response was “yesterday.” How long should I wait to re-contact them? – Jerry

J.T.: It’s great to hear that they actually gave you an answer – some hiring teams won’t offer any specifics.

DALE: Although, you could argue that “yesterday” is more joke than answer – they could offer up the same response a month from now.

J.T.: Well, it’s answer enough. I’d follow up immediately. However, instead of just asking if they’ve made their decision, which is what all the other candidates will do, just reinforce your interest in the job and then offer them something of value, probably in the form of a relevant article that you found online. Send an email: “Dear Bill, I just wanted to follow up and say I am very excited about the possibility of joining XYZ. I came across this article today that reminded me of what we discussed in the interview. I thought you might find it of value. Thank you again for considering me.” That will demonstrate that you’re the kind of person they’ll want to work with.

DALE: Not bad. But, Jerry, you might consider being a tad more assertive. That flip answer, “yesterday,” tells us that they are behind in the hiring process. So I wouldn’t be afraid to call and tell them that you were thinking about their answer and realized they must be in a hurry and that you are standing by to jump in and help. I would ask, “Is there something I can provide you to help make the decision?” And, “Are there any doubts about me that I could help clear up?” If you get specific answers, you can work to rehabilitate your candidacy. On the other hand, if they don’t have any specifics, they will still see you as someone who’s concerned about them and offering to help. It just might occur to them that the formula for hiring is: You = Help, and that means You = Job Offer.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I am in a confused state of mind. My boss, who is supposed to be a guardian of women employees, is himself a party to a crime caused by some of his cronies. How do I handle this? Since I have a family to take care of, my wife says to keep quiet. She says to me: “What is your problem? We need you and your job for taking care of our family.” The good person in me is constantly saying, “Don’t be selfish.” What do I do? – Ken

J.T.: What a terrible position to be in!

DALE: Let’s consider the position Ken finds himself in. Given his wife’s reaction – the “What is your problem?” – let’s assume that we’re not talking about physical endangerment. This could just be…

J.T.: No, let’s not guess. What we know for sure is that something transpired that Ken considers a crime, and that it troubles his conscience. My first suggestion is to figure out a way to confidentially expose your boss and his colleagues’ wrongdoing. Also, Ken, please check your company’s ethics policy. You could be at risk for knowing this information and not sharing it. If there’s a “zero-tolerance policy” at your company, should someone eventually find out that you knew about the crime and didn’t report it, you could get fired for that, as well. I know you have a family to protect and you don’t want to put your job at risk, but I hope there is a way for you to share what you know for the sake of your female colleague.

DALE: I agree… IF Ken is a witness and not just someone who heard a rumor. There’s a big difference between reporting and repeating. Either way, if you feel you must act, first go to the victims and offer support. Maybe you’ll persuade them to report the crime themselves. However, let’s hope for a different outcome: I hope you hear a new truth, one that will restore your faith in your boss, and perhaps you’ll agonize over reporting the person who’s spreading a false rumor.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I have 14 years’ experience in sales and marketing. Most recently, I was with an event-management company. I’d completed several successful projects and then suddenly was let go. I asked for the reason, but they just said that maybe the wavelength did not match. I would like to mention that I believe in doing my work and not just to please somebody. My director (CEO’s daughter-in-law) always had juniors around her saying, “Yes, ma’am.” You know how some people work, but I cannot (it’s not in my genes). Could this be the reason? – A.J.

J.T.: It’s always difficult to accept being
let go, especially when you feel you don’t
know why.

DALE: There was, of course, the “wavelength” business, but that smacks of the sort of vague excuse that managers use when they don’t want to own up to the truth. It could just be that the boss wanted one of those toadying juniors in the role, or, when it’s a family business, perhaps a nephew or cousin needed a job.

J.T.: True, but we still need to explore those “wavelengths,” A.J. I can tell that you have a gut feeling about what went wrong, and those feelings are worth exploring.

DALE: Particularly when you get defensive and go to some version of “that’s just not me.” The deeper truth is that we all have many me’s. I urge you to examine that mysterious can’t-say-ma’am gene. And while you’re at it, examine that other gene, the one preventing you from pleasing someone.
Q: What’s another way of saying “a pleaser”?
A: “Congratulations on your promotion.”

J.T.: When you say that you’re the type to keep your head down and do your work, I know you see this as a positive trait. But in today’s world, being able to effectively connect and communicate with your colleagues is a very important part of staying employed. We must be able to proactively build relationships in order to be effective in teams. Going forward, I would suggest that you consider paying attention the work styles of those around you and experimenting with your own style. It can make all the difference.

– Workplace consultant and career coach J.T. O’Donnell has coached, trained and mentored employees and managers on a wide variety of career-related subjects since 1994. Her book, “CAREEREALISM: The Smart Approach to A Satisfying Career” is available at JTODonnell.com.
Management guru Dale Dauten has written six books and is an authority on innovation in the workplace. His latest book, “Great Employees Only: How Gifted Bossess Hire & Dehire Their Way to Success” is available at Dauten.com. ©2012 King Features Syndicate.

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