The Afghan woman looked like a large sack of potatoes in her full blue burka, barely perceptible as a human. As the night-time Kabul traffic whizzed by, there she sat, on the ground at her husband’s feet, while he held his young son in his arms and begged passing drivers for money or food.
The crush of traffic in Kabul is astounding to a Westerner — approximately 5 million people in one city and absolutely no traffic signals. Everything is done by eye contact and round-abouts.
And there was this poor family, in the middle of the road after dark, no streetlights, no median, nothing stopping someone’s bumper from crashing into the young mother, covered in the burka that her husband mandated she wear, with only netting to see through.
Unlike the black Saudi burkas that allow us to see a woman’s eyes, the burka this Afghan woman wore allows slightly more visibility than wearing a cloth bag over your head.
That image has stayed with me since my visit to Afghanistan in 2011. That woman was nothing more than a possession to her husband. She could have easily been mistaken for a suitcase at his feet. Can you imagine that in America?
Not all women in Afghanistan must wear the burka. It is up to their husband, father or other male family member. Burkas are also colored by region; in Kabul, the color is sky blue.
Usually, the women are dressed beautifully underneath. When it’s only women in the room, the burkas come off to reveal gorgeous clothing and fantastic makeup.
I met many women who wear only a chador, or head scarf, as well as modest clothing that covers their wrists, legs and buttocks. They have gorgeous scarves with beautiful details like beading and gilded trimming. And always fabulous shoes.
In America, many of our schools have dress codes. For girls, straps must be at least as wide as two finger widths. Skirts must not be shorter than your fingertips. In Afghanistan, school girls aged about 10 to 12 and up must wear a head scarf when out in public and always long skirts and long sleeves.
As a visitor to that country, I pieced together my clothing to meet the cultural norms to make sure we both honored their customs as well as tried to keep a low profile. It’s difficult when you have light hair and blue eyes, but there are some Soviet holdovers who looked like me.
Wearing long pants, long tunics with long sleeves and a head scarf is a lot of clothes when the temperature is around 75 to 85 degrees. Then to think of a burka over that, I couldn’t imagine what that must be like for the females in Afghanistan. Their weather is almost exactly like Denver’s — so it can range from 100 degrees to below zero.
After my visit to Afghanistan, I have a new appreciation for the Muslim family in our neighborhood that includes several women (presumably wives) who are required to wear a full burka, as well as black gloves to hide their hands. What is life like in our culture for them?
By the way, the men in Afghanistan typically wear the shalwar kameez, a fantastically comfortable two-piece outfit of light fabric that is very similar to wearing pajamas. Lucky guys.
It makes me happy to live in America where I can wear what I want without need for approval.
(And sometime, for fun, see what fashions you find when you search in an Internet browser for “Kabul 1970s”; you’ll be amazed!)
Marijo Tinlin is a writer and small-business owner in Superior.
To send a letter to the editor about this article, submit or check out our for how to submit by e-mail or mail.
