Environmentalists never rest in their search for enemies of our planet.
We are well aware that we are doomed to extinction if we don’t do something about coal, cows, fracking, flatulence, OPEC, obesity, nuclear power and hydroelectric power, thus saving the rain forests and the reindeer.
But something else has been drawing serious attention recently: Canis familianis, or personkind’s heretofore best buddy, the dog.
Yes, just one furry four-on-the-floor friend presents more of a threat to our survival than two SUVs, according to one study. Put that in your tailpipe and smoke it.
No, I don’t know who conducts these studies. Some people just have a knack for writing applications for federal research grants.
There seem to be three basic problems with dogs, which might be categorized as disease, income and outgo.
First, the latter. Pooch poop is becoming a menace of national importance, if we are to believe the researchers.
If the dog owner scoops up poop and disposes of it, this is not necessarily good because much of it winds up in public landfills, which is bad.
A study (perhaps by the Pew Research people) shows that 38 percent of dog owners do not pick up after their pets, which also is bad. This is what you call a Catch-2 situation.
As for intake, most dog food is bad because, according to another study, the production of just one pound of lamb releases 85 pounds of greenhouse gasses.
And, when you consider that dogs carry a lot of diseases we are now warned not to let Bowser lick our faces.
However, I’m guessing there will not be a great rush to have Bowser or Lassie put to sleep. It is estimated that four in 10 homes house at least one dog.
According to my own unscientific observations, today’s 20- and 30-somethings think dog ownership is pretty cool.
For the most part, these young people fully agree that the planet should be saved. But I’m guessing they would rather join the Flat Earth Society than take their pets to the vet’s office and bid a tearful farewell.
No, the enviros have bitten off more than they can chew.
For, in the words of the late humanitarian, Nosmo King: “Man never stands so tall than when he stoops to pet a dog.”
Dick Hilker of Arvada is a retired Denver suburban newspaper editor. He writes twice a month.
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