Who knew so many people were losing sleep over their sheets?
I didn’t. Not until ran two weeks ago, a column that set off a feather-storm of e-mails from readers talking — and asking me about that most intimate part of life: what we sleep with.
Some readers scolded me for not sharing more, like this male reader from Florida:
Dear Ms. Jameson: I looked forward to your thoughts about (sheet) details one should look for and was disappointed. I expected data on thread counts, fibers and fabrics, colors, strong border designs, wearability and feel, to mention a few factors that might relate to “luxurious,” and not how to decorate a bedroom, which I can do intuitively. And a critical factor to include would have been the no-iron concept, usually effected with a toxic coating of formaldehyde resins that causes all sorts of ills.
Readers can be so demanding. “Dear Sir,” I replied. “Hold your fire; I am getting there!”
Other readers asked, where, oh where, could they find sheets the way they used to be? Soft, light, breathable. And why, oh why, do sheets today smother you at night and grow rough in the wash?
These are serious questions. I mean, if I wanted a full-body loofah scrub, I would go to a spa, not to bed.
So I turned to my new friend and fellow sheet fanatic Missy Tannen, a luxury bed linen maker in New Jersey.
“We all use bed linens every, single day. Why do so many people resign themselves to sheets they don’t love?” she asked.
“Because,” I said, “they’re tired of spending a lot of money on sheets that, after a few washings, morph into something altogether different, like a character out of a Harry Potter novel.”
Tannen blames chemicals and mass production for why customers can’t find sheets like they used to love. “Cotton textiles have become just as over-processed as food,” she said, starting with the cotton seeds. “Much of the cotton grown around the world today comes from genetically modified seeds.”
“Just when I was starting to worry about genetically modified food, now I have to worry about genetically modified bedding?” I said.
“Plus pesticides have gotten stronger.”
“So we sleep with genetically mutated, chemically saturated fibers pulled up to our chins?” I said. I may never sleep again.
But we can have a soft, chemical-free slumber on sheets that get better, not worse, with age, Tannen assured. So I asked her to help me create a checklist for buying perfect sheets.
1. Know what you like.
Do you prefer crisp (percale) or soft (sateen)? Either can be delightful or dreadful, depending on the quality of cotton, which we’ll get to. The difference is weave. In percale sheets, the cross thread goes over one thread and under one thread, creating a tight weave, hence the crisp feel. Both sides of a percale sheet look the same. In sateen sheets, one thread crosses over four threads and under one, which makes for a looser, softer fabric. It has a right side and a back side. Some sateen sheets — especially those chemically treated to feel even silkier — get a bad rap for not breathing as well as percale. “They can feel warm,” said Tannen. “But really good sateens are soft and breathe.”
2. Pick your cotton.
The label is your first stop. Read closely. You want 100 percent (not 95 percent or 97 percent) combed, organic cotton. Yes, I know, 100 percent cotton wrinkles, and permanent press sheets are wrinkle-free. But if you want sheets that breathe and don’t smother, you must adopt a zero-synthetic policy. Combed means short cotton fibers have been combed out, leaving only the long cotton fibers and thus and a more refined sheet. With uncombed cotton sheets, short fibers pop out, twist, matt and pill like a cheap sweater.
Certified organic means makers did not use genetically modified seeds or any chemicals during the manufacturing process, which may help you rest easier.
3. Watch for tricks.
Sheet makers use several tricks to mask inferior fabric. (Gasp! Really?) For instance, makers often coat sheets with waxy chemicals that give them a shiny look and silky feel. (Yes, they’ve seen you open the package in the store and feel the fabric.) These additives gloss over the roughness of lower-quality fabrics, which eventually pokes through. After a few washings, the coating is stripped away, leaving behind raw disappointment. That doesn’t happen with organic cotton.
4. Read between the threads.
A higher thread count (more threads per inch) usually equals a finer sheet. However, one thread can be made of one, two or three plies of cotton fiber twisted together. Some makers inflate their thread count by counting plies, not threads. Thus, they count one three-ply thread as three threads, and triple their thread count, claiming 450 when it’s really a 150. Great sheets have a singly-ply thread count of 300 to 400. Higher than that is not likely possible, unless you count plies.
5. Note the fine points.
For true sheet snobs (guilty as charged) the ultimate detail lies in the stitches. Smaller stitches and well-appointed trim on the top sheets and pillowcase edges separate ordinary bed linens from the really good stuff. Nice finishing details not only suggest higher quality, but can also underscore your style, whether that’s formal, vintage, preppy, contemporary or classic, said Tannen.
6. Test drive the pillowcase.
Before investing in a full set, buy just the pillowcases. Wash and use them to see how you like the fabric feel before you invest in a full set.
Join me next week when I tell you how to care for your sheets so your investment lasts for years. (Think you already know how to wash your sheets? I was doing five out of six steps wrong.)
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of two home and lifestyle books, and the forthcoming “Downsizing the Family Home” (Sterling Press). Contact her through marnijameson.com.
