Riff Raff performs during the Mad Decent Block Party at Fiddlers Green Amphitheatre on August 22, 2014 in Englewood, Colorado. (Photo by Seth McConnell/The Denver Post)
I’m not crazy.
It’s a lazy Sunday night, I’m watching the new episode of “Rick and Morty” and I’m waiting for a pizza.
At about 10 p.m. there’s a knock on the door. Finally. Pizza.
I go to the front door. But standing there is someone I didn’t expect: He has long blonde corn rows, a chin strap, tattoos. I give him a weird look, which he seems to interpret as me being mad the pizza took so long.
“Sorry about the wait,” he said. “Warped Tour just got done and I was held up.”
Wait. Warped Tour? That’s right. Warped Tour was on Sunday and Riff Raff was playing Warped Tour at the Pepsi Center near my house.
But, you can’t just ask the Domino’s delivery guy if he’s Riff Raff. You can’t just take a picture of the Domino’s delivery guy for evidence. All you can do is tip well and take your pizza politely.
Back inside I’m trying to explain the situation to my roommate, but he has no idea who Riff Raff is. So, I take to Twitter, where I tweet the following:
I’m 99 percent sure my Domino’s driver was (Riff Raff).
— Matt Miller (@Official_MattM)
For an hour I got nothing. I checked his Twitter, his Instagram for clues about his possible work with Domino’s, but nothing.
Finally a response from Riff Raff:
iT WAS PROBABLY JUST YOUR MOM DRESSED UP AS JAMES FRANCO iN SPRiNG BREAKERS
— PEACH PANTHER (@JODYHiGHROLLER)
This is a sick burn, Riff Raff, but it solves nothing. As the journalist I am, I push him for an answer:
But seriously, was that you? You’re in Denver right now for Warped Tour.
— Matt Miller (@Official_MattM)
Nothing…
Only the notifications containing the jeers and laughter from Riff Raff fans:
shut downnnn
— The Dub Rebellion (@thedubrebellion)
don’t speak on riff like that boy
— da_real_Bráziê (@brazie98th)
😂ðŸ˜ĚðŸ˜Ě
— Kerry Washington (@kiaramonai)
I want to believe that Riff Raff — either as a side job or a prank — was delivering pizzas to hungry Denver-area residents on Sunday night. I want to believe that he was truly sorry that my two medium pizzas and chicken bites were kind of cold. I want to believe that he will be very appreciative of my 20 percent tip.
