On a frigid December day in 2011, Andy G. Lurie stood on the balcony of his mother’s apartment building at East 13th Avenue and High Street in Cheesman Park and decided to jump.
“I felt so devastated by the way my life had fallen apart that I thought I’d be doing people a favor,” said Lurie, 54, who had been living with severe tinnitus (a constant, painful ringing in the ears) and the loss of his elementary-school teaching job, marriage and finances. “(My mother) went to the bathroom and on impulse I thought, ‘This is my chance.’ “
Despite breaking seven bones in his arm and shoulder, Lurie survived the fall. He tried again to end his life a year later by swallowing a bottle of morphine pills in a Days Inn at Sixth Avenue and Federal Boulevard.
“A woman apparently saw my feet on the ground when she passed by my hotel room window,” he said. “Again, I shouldn’t have lived.”
Lurie’s recovery has been a bumpy one, including a stint of homelessness. But during the past six months, he has rediscovered a coping technique that’s helped him attain a peace and stability he hasn’t known in years.
“I had to find a way to channel my negative emotions,” Lurie said. “I had dabbled in the Denver stand-up comedy scene for a few years before the suicide attempts. So after some serious reflection, I decided to go back to bleed the demons.”
Lurie’s performances at “Freak Train,” a monthly variety show at the , allowed him not only to make morbid fun of his hardships but find a place in a supportive artistic community.
“It’s been really cool to watch him transition from a very blunt coming-out about his suicide to a more evolved comedy,” said GerRee Hinshaw, the host and founder of “Freak Train,” which on Aug. 31 will celebrate its 15th anniversary. “Over time he has clearly been working on how to express that part of himself… but he’s also realizing it’s not the only thread worth looking at.”
Professionally administered art therapy has long been an effective tool for treating and more in clinical settings. But self-directed creativity, whether it’s painting, journaling or performing on a stage, is a less visible, equally important outlet for many.
“I feel like there’s such a stigma on any kind of mental problems, and that gets really frustrating,” said , a Littleton-bred author whose new young-adult book, explores the aftermath of a suicide. “I hope anybody who reads it feels it’s not something they should be ashamed of (and) that they’re not alone.”
Suicide rates in Colorado continue to remain higher than the national average. As of 2013, the most recent year for which data were available, the state ranked seventh in the nation overall and ninth for teen suicides.
Young Latino women and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth continue to be at a higher risk than the rest of the population, according to research. But from 2008-12, the Colorado age group that committed suicide the most was 45- to 54-year-olds — with men accounting for about two-thirds of all suicides, according to the .
The reasons are many, including depression, a sense of isolation and alienation, denial of emotions, trauma and addiction.
But because artistic and creative expression also takes a variety of forms, it can offer a customizable therapeutic approach for those coping with the loss of a friend or family member, or even their own suicide attempt.
Seeking out nuanced, responsible depictions of depression and the effects of suicide also can provide therapeutic benefits, Levy said.
“When I’ve gotten into really bad bouts of depression, sometimes I’ll watch or read something and it’s like, ‘Oh, yes, I remember: I’m not alone.’ “
In conjunction with in September, a number of area fundraising events and free, localized training sessions (for spotting and helping at-risk youths) are on tap, according to Jarrod Hindman, director of the state’s office for suicide prevention.
They include the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s , Sept. 13 and 26, and the Second Wind Fund’s in Littleton.
For comic Lurie, it’s “Freak Train’s” 15th anniversary show on Aug. 31, at which he plans to perform. He expects his 18-year-old daughter and her boyfriend to be in the audience.
But he’ll likely not do any suicide jokes.
“It’s almost like a family feeling there, and it’s very safe to do what otherwise is a very stigmatized type of subject matter,” he said. “It’s just classic catharsis, and it continues to feel really good.”
John Wenzel: 303-954-1642 or jwenzel@denverpost.com
“FREAK TRAIN” 15TH ANNIVERSARY
Variety show open-mic hosted by GerRee Hinshaw, featuring comedy, music and more. Sign-ups begin at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m. Aug. 31. Bug Theatre, 3654 Navajo St. $5. 303-477-9984 or bugtheatre.com.
