St. Andrews, Scotland – Been to the Louvre, done the Mona Lisa thing. Got the T-shirt from the Smithsonian.
But the best museum in all the world is this Old Course. Hands down. Beats any other historic track, 6 and 5. The ghosts of Tom Morris, both of them, come alive here.
The trouble with banging golf balls around a museum, however, is something valuable is bound to get broken.
Tiger Woods has taken a driver to the integrity, beauty and competitive spirit of the British Open.
It’s not his fault.
A 21st-century hero is simply too good and too strong for a place where the clubhouse opened more than 150 years ago, when the balls were light as a feather and a golfer’s sticks could double for herding sheep.
Heck, the New Course at St. Andrews opened in 1895.
And the age shows.
This hallowed ground was host to the British Open before the invention of the automobile, light bulb or graphite shafts.
The world has changed. Nothing lasts forever. St. Andrews has run its course as a venue for the world’s best players.
Ever seen a Scot turn red in anger?
Evan Grant, the head greenskeeper at the Old Course, argues St. Andrews can never be dropped from the Open rotation. Tradition counts for too much, he insists, proudly adding his crew will not dig any more of those bunkers big enough to be an elephant’s coffin, because a good curator does not mess with a museum.
Well, I walked every inch of this place and got the scars from the gorse stuck in my britches to prove it.
The traditionalists at the Royal and Ancient have added a few precious yardage to the layout, grabbing what little real estate that could be annexed on seafront property. They dumped freshly ground shells in the bunkers. The hair on the fairways was shaved tighter than a military crew cut, to the point where Woods sincerely believed tee shots rolled faster than putts.
None of it matters.
Nike inflated temporary billboards on the road into the Old Course last week. The disturbing message? An arrogant sneer at tradition.
Technology has made St. Andrews irrelevant, and these links will stage a comeback about the same time a wired generation agrees to throw away its cellphones.
What’s the problem with St. Andrews? You mean other than the fact goats ate all the rough and pros deliberately hit tee shots into the wrong fairway? Modern athletes are capable of driving the green on four holes that were designed to play to par 4.
This is the most storied muni in the world. Unfortunately, it plays like an executive course lined with patio homes when overmatched against Woods, who still would have won the 2005 Open if you stole 10 clubs from his bag. Is that a true test of golf?
Give Tiger nothing except a 3-wood, a 5-iron, a sand wedge and a putter, and here is 20 pounds to bet with your legal Scottish bookie that he still would have beaten runner-up Colin Montgomerie by the same five strokes.
Drama has been so lacking in two coronations of Woods at St. Andrews that hopeless rival Mark Calcavecchia advised spectators to sleep in late Sunday, fearing no beer sales on the course before noon and suggesting a little beer buzz might be required to enjoy the final round.
Anybody who truly loves golf cannot happily die without making a pilgrimage to St. Andrews. Grumpy old purists complain the town has gone too Disney, with an invasion of American fast-food franchises making Market Street about as genuinely Scottish as a plastic village in Epcot.
That’s rubbish. The one hole at St. Andrews that remains absolutely perfect is the 19th, because raising a pint here has been elevated to an art form.
Any amateur passionate enough to keep an honest handicap should play the Old Course at least once. Twice, if like this past week, rain fails to blow between your ears off St. Andrews Bay.
But this Old Course has seen enough, done more than its share for the game and been beaten up by Woods for far too long.
In the name of Tom Morris, take St. Andrews out of the British Open rotation and put it in a frame, where memories belong.
Staff writer Mark Kiszla can be reached at 303-820-5438 or mkiszla@denverpost.com.
