Dear Amy: Some 25 years ago my husband and I took naked photos of each other. We were married for eight years and then divorced.
I destroyed my photos of him and I thought he did the same. I was wrong. That ex-husband has since died. His widow found these pictures and gave them to my other ex-husband, and now he is trying to get money out of me for the photos. He says that if I don’t pay him, he is going to give these pictures to someone and have them distributed all over my hometown.
Can you give me any advice on what to do? My boyfriend is very understanding. I explained all of this to him, but I don’t want him to think poorly of me because of this.
– Me
Dear You: If your ex hadn’t tried to extort money from you, he might have gotten away with whatever little scheme he had in mind.
This is a matter for the police. Extortion is a crime, and I imagine that your local law enforcement would want to pay your ex a visit in order to educate him about this. Give the police a call and ask what they think you should do.
Beyond that, you need to realize that the only thing you can completely control at this point is your reaction to this outrage.
Think of yourself as a grown-up Paris Hilton, who survived her own naked video scandal and is well on her way to world domination.
Please find someone you can trust in order to talk this through. A counselor could help you to put this nastiness in perspective. The person who chooses to distribute these photos is the person who should be ashamed of himself – not you.
…
Dear Amy: I am a 17-year-old rising senior in high school and starting to worry about college admissions.
My high school career hasn’t been the easiest. I’ve had to battle with an eating disorder, major depression and many more family issues that have affected my grades tremendously.
I am finally recovering and feeling great, but because colleges do not take such events into account, I’m worried that I won’t be accepted anywhere. I am an intelligent perfectionist who never dreamed of attending a community college, but am I doomed to do so? It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it would be a major disappointment.
I’ve gone through so much and I’m finally ready to live my life the way I want to. But will I be able to?
– Worried
Dear Worried: First, you need to re-educate yourself about community colleges. These two-year institutions are a valuable part of your higher-education options. After you do some research, you will see that you have more options than you imagine.
Your research should start with the book “Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools You Should Know About Even If You’re Not a Straight-A Student,” by Loren Pope (Penguin, $15 paperback). In his extensive profiles of some lesser-known colleges, Pope demonstrates that there truly is a school for every student.
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