It took nine days, but Sam Smith finally learned his mom is alive.
Sam, 13, now knows his mom made it out of New Orleans and got to Texas. But, sitting in a Denver McDonald’s in a new pair of white sneakers and donated jeans, he said he hasn’t heard her voice and doesn’t know when he will see her. He does know he’ll probably never see his best friend, or his dog, Precious, or his house again.
When 4-year-old Brandon Fahy first saw the sodden, shattered remains of his home in Bay St. Louis, Miss., last week, he burst into tears.
Since then, the boy has asked every day, “Why is everything broken? Why did the hurricane come?” said his grandmother, Marie Fahy.
“We tell him, ‘Because the hurricane is the bad guy,”‘ she said.
For thousands of Gulf Coast children, Hurricane Katrina is the Bad Guy, the boogeyman, the monster in the closet, all come to life.
No one is certain how many children, like Sam, spent days separated from parents or grandparents – or lost them entirely. Or how many children, like Brandon, lost their homes. Or how many favorite dump trucks, Barbie dolls and teddy bears were washed away.
By some estimates, the children affected by the hurricane number in the tens of thousands. And no one knows what long-term effect shattered lives and shattered homes – witnessing the unthinkable, living in fear and squalor for days – will have on those children.
But mental-health specialists and many parents are concerned.
“People vary in responses to things, but kids are very vulnerable” said Christina Little, a clinical child psychologist at Kempe Children’s Center in Denver.
Some of the most important variables are how long children were caught up in the trauma, how close they were to horrific events, and how stable and secure their lives were before the trauma, said Robert D. Macy of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network.
The network is sending teams to the Gulf Coast to begin offering counseling to kids and advice to their parents, Macy said.
In Denver, Susie Street of the Mental Health Association of Colorado has a growing list of social workers and counselors who want to help hurricane evacuees. Most are donating their services, she said.
In the washed-out neighborhoods of Biloxi, Miss., officials say the well- being of children is a growing concern. There are high concentrations of poor families here, and many are still living in or near their flooded-out homes.
Near a small sports stadium in a hard-hit neighborhood of this coastal city, church groups have set up “Kids Kamp” to provide activities, classes and informal counseling. Children can play there, and they draw pictures.
Thursday, a young boy drew himself in a house full of water surrounded by multicolored fish. Parents say that as Katrina brought the ocean into their living rooms, children sometimes bumped into live fish.
One 5-year-old girl could only manage a page of angry red scribbles.
“I asked her what it was, but she wouldn’t say anything. I asked, ‘Is that the storm?’ and she finally said ‘Yes,”‘ said Kate Brighton, a youth pastor from Columbia, S.C., working at the camp
Macy and Little say it is important to try to get children back into a familiar routine. But for children whose homes and schools are gone, that isn’t easy.
Before Katrina, Sam Smith had started sixth grade, armed with brand-new school supplies, and had even taken a test in his favorite class, math.
After Katrina, he spent three or four days in the Louisiana Superdome with his oldest brother’s fiancée and her mother. His grandmother was with them at first, but she got separated from them as soon as they arrived.
He said he ate nothing but a few snacks taken from a convenience store someone had broken into. He was too scared to sleep, he said, and too scared to go to the bathroom: “When I had to go, I just pushed it back in.”
At the McDonald’s, he puts down his chicken sandwich and jumps up to describe people he calls soldiers pointing guns at unruly evacuees, and he said he saw a man get shot.
“It was horrible down there,” he said.
Now, in Colorado, he lives with his oldest brother, Cash Smith; Cash’s fiancée, LaToya Mathews; Cash’s son, Tagh, who is 4; and two of LaToya’s nieces in a city whose name he has trouble remembering. He says he likes it, “but how come nobody here has grits?”
If Sam could reach back in time and pull one thing out of his destroyed house, it would be “my medals.”
Four medals in all: one for perfect school attendance, one for being on the honor roll and a couple celebrating his virtuosity as a drum-playing member of the school band.
In Mississippi, Brandon Fahy and his grandparents are staying on the second floor of a mostly abandoned apartment building. They get water and ice from the National Guard and eat at local shelters.
Brandon’s grandparents – who are raising him – have done their best to return him to a routine.
Every day, Brandon goes to the mailbox, part of the routine he and his grandfather kept before the storm. Every day, he comes back empty-handed.
“I have to tell him that all the mail trucks are broken,” said his grandfather, Bill Fahy.
Many of Katrina’s young victims demonstrate an ability to find fun in the most harrowing circumstances – 8-year-old Nina Bleuler, for example. When she and her family had to climb into their Biloxi attic to escape rising water, “it was a little scary but also fun,” she said.
Sam Smith is excited, not nervous, he said, about starting sixth grade all over in a strange school.
“Some teachers are mean, but some are nice. But I know how to make teachers smile,” he said, flashing his own.
In Bay St. Louis, part of Brandon Fahy’s job is to help clean the toys his grandparents managed to recover from their damaged home.
National Guard soldiers gave him a bicycle. Asked what he thought of the soldiers in his neighborhood, he smiled. “They gave me a yellow yo-yo,” he said.
But Brandon also struggles to understand his new world, and the Fahys struggle to help him.
Signs of reaction to disaster or trauma vary by age. Here are signs to watch for:
Young children:
Fear of being away from a parent.
Increased crying, screaming, trembling, and clinging to parents or caregivers.
Thumbsucking, bedwetting and fear of the dark.
Pre-adolescents:
Withdrawal from friends and family.
Nightmares and problems sleeping.
Ongoing feelings of anxiety.
Feelings of guilt.
Anger, irritability and outbursts.
Physical complaints such as stomachaches.
Adolescents:
Flashbacks and nightmares.
Avoidance of things that might remind them of the event.
Guilt.
Withdrawal and isolation.
Physical complaints.
Avoidance of school, dropping grades.
Tips for helping children and teens cope after a trauma:
Protect children and make them feel safe.
Reassure them that you love them and will care for them.
Encourage children to express their feelings, including their fears and concerns, and listen to them without passing judgment.
Let children know it’s OK to be upset.
Let children do something that makes them feel in control, such as choosing their own clothes or meals.
Gradually return to familiar routines, or, if that’s not possible, create new routines.
For older children, reassure them that they are safe, but don’t tell them a disaster can never happen again; they will know that isn’t true.
Limit television viewing so children don’t see images of the disaster over and over.
Encourage children to express feelings through drawings or play.
If a child’s responses (for example, nightmares and recurrent thoughts or fears) have been getting worse instead of better, consider seeking professional counseling.
Sources: National Institute of Mental Health, Mental Health Association of Colorado, National Child Traumatic Stress Network.
“He talks to the police, to anyone who comes by,” Bill Fahy said, “and asks them to fix his house.”
