Q: Help.
I’ve been dating a Christian guy for one year; we haven’t had sex. We had a three-month separation in the spring, due to an emotional outburst he had because I had to change plans. His response scared me and humiliated him.
After that, I told him I thought we’d be better off as friends. We stopped communication and after three months started up again, realizing we are more than friends. He recently told me that while we were apart, he was introduced to someone else.
They had sex, which really hurt, although we were never committed exclusively. I felt like he cheated on me because my feelings never waned for him and reacted with hurt.
He felt guilty, terrible, ashamed. Realistically, I realize he wasn’t where I’m at and still may not be.
I told him I was wrong to assume we were a couple and that I will not do that anymore. I will date him but also date other people, because he’s unsure what or who he wants.
On one hand, he wants to experience a personal intimate relationship with me and not just have superficial sex, but then he so easily had sex with someone else who wasn’t even a Christian.
I feel very rejected and don’t know what to do. At this point I’d like to pull back, tell him we need to just be friends — no kissing, etc. and date other people and if we’re meant to be, we will be.
Sounds to me like he wants us both; test a Christian relationship and have personal intimacy with me and sex with her.
I feel like an idiot. He is very unsophisticated with women, I can tell by his behavior and comments. At the same time, I think he’s very selfish.
Do I wait around? Do I ask for him to make a decision and commit or move on? Is it unrealistic to expect people to arrive at the same emotional place at the same time?
I’m feeling like I am more emotionally involved than he is and he may never get there. I don’t want to waste my time.
Any clarity in this mess that you could provide? This sucks and I feel rejected, undesirable, unwanted.
– Frustrated…
SCOTT: Praise the lord you wrote to me. The “Christian” you’ve been dating is a fake and in your own words, unsophisticated with women.
He has made you feel rejected undesirable and unwanted. Christian is as Christian does and he ain’t no Christian. Trust me.
I will pray that you will see the light and not waste any more of your precious time with this loser.