America’s joke writers were thrilled at their luck this week. A 78-year-old lawyer named Harry Whittington, not so much.
The story of the vice president’s fowl shot on a hunting trip continues to provide fodder for comics, cartoonists, website wags and headline writers. It has captured the nation’s imagination: While we are powerless to do anything about war, terrorism, corporate scandals or the federal budget, we can fire off gags about the Shooter in Chief.
And so Dick Cheney’s hunting trip gone bad joins the pantheon of famous American political gaffes and faux pas.
Cheney’s misfire ranks with the infamous image of Lyndon Johnson showing off his abdominal scar to the media in breakfast-ruining close-up. Or LBJ hoisting a beagle by the ears. Except there’s a life at stake.
In Cheney’s case, we have no visuals from the scene (if there are any, they’re being kept in an undisclosed location). Will the jokes about the veep’s itchy trigger finger endure like those about Bill Clinton’s escapades in the Lewinsky era? Does the quail equal the blue dress in humorists’ shorthand?
The Internet adds a new wrinkle. Once upon a time, if you missed Johnny Carson’s monologue, you missed the joke. No more: The Internet extends the atomic half-life of a comic’s quip or a cartoonist’s image.
Slate.com, for example, posted a collection of the best op-ed cartoons on Cheney’s misadventure. It’s an alternative to the water cooler, the humor equivalent of a recirculating fountain.
Chances are Cheney’s shotgun malfunction will overshadow the infamous “potato-with- an-‘e”‘ misspelling by Vice President Dan Quayle during a visit to a sixth-grade spelling bee. But will the White House stonewalling and the victim’s subsequent heart attack take the punch out of the gags?
There is no shortage of serious follow-up stories. (On her blog on the Huffington Post, Nora Ephron called the incident “a little bitty Chappaquiddick.”) But the initial concept is so ludicrous, the jokes keep coming. One wonders whether, years from now, we will summon the mental image of Cheney in hunting gear, filling a GOP donor with birdshot, the way we recall George Bush Sr. vomiting into the lap of the Japanese prime minister during a state dinner?
Perhaps by then we’ll know more about the odd lag time: Cheney shot Whittington on Saturday; the White House waited almost 24 hours to confirm the story. Three days later Cheney’s office made its first official announcement regarding the story, when Whittington’s health took a bad turn. On the fourth day, Cheney agreed to be interviewed – by friendly Fox News. (Before that broadcast, Bill O’Reilly had already decided the veep’s hunting accident “means nothing.”)
The punch line: Business as usual – Ready! Fire! Aim!
The lore of presidential goofs goes way back. Warren G. Harding reportedly had as much trouble with the English language as George W. Bush does. Richard Nixon notoriously gave what he thought was the two-fingered victory sign during a televised address in Australia, only to learn that the gesture signals an unprintable obscenity Down Under.
Gerald Ford, who “Saturday Night Live” parodied as unable to walk and chew gum at the same time, lost his bearings while debating Jimmy Carter and proclaimed that Poland and Eastern Europe were not under Soviet domination.
Carter, meanwhile, was attacked by a “killer rabbit” on a fishing trip in Georgia. Cue the “SNL” bunny-suit sketch.
Now Deadeye Dick joins their ranks. Cartoonist J.D Crowe of Alabama’s Mobile Register portrayed a smiling Cheney holding a smoking shotgun. “Just another day at the office,” said the caption. “Shoot first. Spin later.”
Even sharper was Rob Rogers of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and United Media. He drew Bush telling Cheney: “Don’t feel bad, Dick. I thought I was flushing out terrorists when I accidentally bagged this one!” Bush is pointing to the Statue of Liberty’s head – labeled “Civil Liberties” – mounted over a fireplace.
Late-night hosts piled on.
David Letterman: “Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It’s Dick Cheney. … But here is the sad part. Before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy’s request for body armor.”
Jay Leno: “I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy, he screamed, ‘Anyone else want to call domestic wiretapping illegal?”‘
On Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show,” Rob Cordry extended the joke to Iraq: “And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face.”
Jon Stewart noted that Whittington had the distinction of being the first person shot by a vice president since Aaron Burr plugged Alexander Hamilton.
But the best shot came from a noncomedian. U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy, who in 2004 was blasted by Cheney with an obscenity on the floor of the Senate, said, “In retrospect, it looks like I got off easy.”
Rest assured, that line will wind up on a blog. With the Internet, everyone’s in the comedy biz.
TV critic Joanne Ostrow can be reached at 303-820-1830 or jostrow@denverpost.com.
