Bon Jovi is such a staple of American youth culture that it’s hard to imagine the late ’80s without the New Jersey band fronted by the charismatic, ever-hair-sprayed Jon Bon Jovi.
The band, of course, continued recording and touring throughout the ’90s and is still together, playing the Pepsi Center on Thursday in support of the tepid “Have a Nice Day.”
But as the 20th anniversary of “Slippery When Wet” looms in August, it is hard to take the band seriously as anything more than a nugget from another era, a reminder of how far we’ve come.
Back in the day, Bon Jovi was radio dynamite, groundbreaking even. The band sold nearly 15 million copies of “Slippery” and its follow-up, “New Jersey,” stateside alone, and the group always has been big overseas. It pioneered a subgenre of metal that emphasized pop melodies, image-centered videos and simplistic songs.
Bon Jovi’s greatest contribution to civilization as we know it may be that even the most tone-deaf among us can sing along. That in mind, here are the band’s top 10 songs to sing out loud – karaoke or by yourself in the car. And, no, “Bed of Roses” is not on here.
1. “Raise Your Hands:” Easily the most underrated (and oft forgotten) song in the band’s catalog, “Raise Your Hands” is a throwback track that goes from “nasty reputations” to “sticky situations.” That bad machine-gun guitar riff also is unforgettable. And the background synths! (There’s so much here to get excited about! Air guitar solo!) Can you imagine what the arena looks like when the band gets to the shout-along chorus? “Raise your hands!” Me too. It makes me kinda nervous.
2. “Livin’ on a Prayer:” A classically bad song, “Livin’ on a Prayer” is one every ’80s survivor should memorize. Most have. This was clear at a recent 4 a.m. breakfast in Vegas when one diner started in on the chorus – “We gotta hold on to what we got …” – and the whole table joined in, much to the horror of the packed Peppermill.
3. “You Give Love a Bad Name:” OK, this is how it goes: “Shot through the heart/And you’re to blame/You give love a bad name.” For some reason, lots of people think the middle part is “And you’re too late,” which makes no sense. While the frenetic and addictive chorus – the sneering “I play my part, and you play your game” – is a blast, the rest of the song isn’t all that fun to rock out to. Still, those few measures where they break it down at the end of the song (hand claps and kick drum!) is a beautiful moment, a milestone in jock rock.
4. “I’ll Be There for You:” Bon Jovi loved the slow jams. So did we. (This song was one of the first singles I ever purchased.) Even at age 11, I could see right through Bon Jovi’s ridiculous mist of aerosol hair spray. “I’ll be there for you/These five words I swear to you/When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you.” I thought, “Who are these cheese balls?,” and then memorized every word. This song also has one of Bon Jovi’s all-time worst lyrics: “I didn’t mean to miss your birthday, baby/I wish I’d seen you blow those candles out.” Ouch.
5. “Runaway:” Now we’re getting old school. This was Bon Jovi’s first single – technically it was Jon Bongiovi’s first and only single before the name change. It’s what started everything and encouraged him to form a band. It’s fun because it’s unlike every song that came after. The keyboards don’t necessarily de-emphasize the guitar solo, but it gives the song a synth-pop personality of its own.
6. “Wanted Dead or Alive:” Attitude is everything with this track. Remember, you’re a cowboy, and your horse is steel. Or something like that. The preposterous notion of Jon Bon Jovi as a cowboy is what makes this song so bizarre. You would think this song would be higher on the list, but give it another listen and you’ll find there’s not much to it. “I walk these streets, a loaded six-string on my back/I play for keeps ’cause I might not make it back … I’ve seen a million faces, and I’ve rocked them all.” When it comes back to the whole “I’m a cowboy” part, I can’t keep a straight face.
7. “Always:” Muster your best earnest ’80s rocker ballad voice (lil’ gravely, lil’ vulnerable, light falsetto) and tackle this gem that would have made Whitney Houston proud: “IIIII will love you, baby, always/IIII’ll be there forever and a day.” Be sure to have the properly yearning look on your face.
8. “Lay Your Hands on Me:” What’s with that obnoxiously long intro? It’s one minute, 40 seconds before they even start singing. But once you get there, the simplistic gospel rocker has your attention like an odd blend of “Appetite for Destruction”- era Guns N’ Roses and “Faith”- era George Michael.
9. “Blaze of Glory:” This tune is credited to Jon Bon Jovi, not the band. He did the soundtrack to the movie “Young Guns II” – they must have liked his whole “I’m a cowboy” thing – and it reminds me of Peter Cetera breaking free from Chicago and writing “Glory of Love” for one of the “Karate Kid” movies. Terrible, yes. But fantastic too.
10. “Bad Medicine:” Part KISS, part New Kids on the Block, this is far from Bon Jovi’s best song. But in a group, this song is a riot to sing. “There ain’t no doctor that can cure my disease.” Oh really? “That’s what you get for falling in love.” Yeah, well, that’s what I say. Their over-enunciation of “medicine” isn’t all that rock ‘n’ roll, but what else would you expect from a crew of bridge-and-tunnel poseurs?
Pop music critic Ricardo Baca can be reached at 303-820-1394 or rbaca@denverpost.com.
