Kim’s boyfriend took in foster kids. He had a good job. He had a lot of money. He was abusive.
Kim, whose last name is being withheld by The Denver Post for her safety, is trying to reconcile the man with whom she was smitten with her boyfriend, the abuser.
On the outside, he was like his house at Christmas – beautifully decorated and envied by his neighbors. But on the inside, said Kim, he was “dull and evil.”
He emotionally abused her and her children. One day, the abuse escalated and he choked her.
“I fell to the ground, and he laughed in my face because he said I turned purple,” Kim said.
Like many of the hundreds of people who seek shelter at SafeHouse Denver every year, it took Kim time and courage to leave her abuser.
“I was going to move out Sunday, but I didn’t think I would make it until Sunday,” Kim said.
Her boyfriend was at the grocery store with his foster kids when she left. “It was an awful feeling,” Kim said. “We got out as soon as we could.”
Kim spent the next five months living at SafeHouse. “I knew that I needed to make a change and get some help.”
The average victim leaves and goes back to the abuser seven to nine times before the victim leaves for good. Kim still gets counseling at the shelter so she won’t become a statistic.
Her two boys get counseling, too, as part of the kids program.
“We are dedicated to prevention programs to keep (children) from becoming victims or abusers themselves,” Jeanine Mayer, the shelter’s director, said.
SafeHouse has 26 beds for women and four cribs for children, and they’re usually full.
The 24-hour crisis hotline provides options and solutions for abuse victims. It rings more this time of year, but the Christmas season also brings a flood of donations, says Natalie Wilkins, associate director of community relations at SafeHouse. The agency has applied for funding from the Post/News Season to Share campaign.
The shelter feels like a home with separate bedrooms, a library and a kitchen. The women and children who seek refuge at the shelter cut construction paper into teardrop shapes to decorate the walls. Each unique teardrop bears a message of hope. A quote from Maya Angelou is inscribed on a blue teardrop: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
Kim has told her story to other victims of abuse, and she’s moved into a transitional house in Denver. Kim said there is hope for women who face abuse.
“You may go through the same stage a few times, and it’s a long process, but it can be done.”
Staff writer Karissa Marcum can be reached at 303-954-1858 or kmarcum@denverpost.com.
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