Dear Amy: When our 10-year-old niece visits, she brings her small soccer ball and will kick it around our house. She will use the open stairway as a goal. She kicks it hard enough to hit the wall on the landing, then calls that a score. She kicked it above the sofa to hit the wall and almost made my antique clock fall.
I have spoken to my husband about saying something to his sister and her husband, and he doesn’t want to cause hurt feelings. I have never heard of anyone allowing this kind of outdoor activity to take place inside the home.
If the young parents don’t mind having things broken by a ball being kicked around their home, then so be it, but to me it is wrong to allow it in other people’s homes.
– An Unhappy Aunt
Dear Unhappy: Here’s what I would say and do: “Hey, Clara! At our house, we play soccer outdoors! Get on your coat and let’s go.” Then I’d show her the garage door or the side of the house, or whatever surface can best absorb a soccer ball. And I’d hang out with her for a while as she showed her soccer stuff.
This does not rise to the level of talking to parents. This rises to the level of the homeowner saying, “Please stop it, honey.”
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Dear Amy: I have a great friend, “Lila.” Unfortunately, Lila has a friend, “Haley,” who doesn’t like me.
Haley is usually at the center of the circle.
I believe the reason she doesn’t like me is that I’m not cool enough. I don’t know that much about the things she likes to talk about, which means I’m usually on the outer circle of the friends, and Lila, whom I want to be with, is in the middle.
What should I do? If I try to shove myself to the center of the circle, I get pushed out.
I can’t try to learn the things that Haley talks about because most of the things she talks about are against my religious beliefs.
– Complicated Friends
Dear Complicated: Isn’t this the basic plot of “Happy Feet”? In the movie, a penguin on the outer circle of the colony breaks into tap-dancing routines when others ostracize him. Perhaps it’s time for you to strap on your tap shoes, figuratively speaking.
Please don’t shove yourself to the center of the circle. Either charm your way in or yet, find another circle of people who are more inclusive and not a bunch of Haley’s comets.
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