Dear Abby: “John” and I have been together for seven years and were finally married last February. We have a 4-year-old daughter together.
I recently learned that John has had multiple affairs during our relationship, and fathered a child who was born last summer. I was devastated by the news of the affairs, not to mention that one resulted in a child. We are still together, but I plan to meet with an attorney soon. I know I can sue John for divorce and child support.
The child’s mother is making my life crazy. She has not yet filed for child support, and she calls my home weekly demanding money from me because John is out of a job. She calls me at work and has threatened to show up at my home and my job with the baby in her arms.
What can I do about this?
– Tired
Dear Tired: I hope you understand that you are under no obligation to give John’s lady friend a penny. What she is doing is harassment, and could be considered an attempt at extortion. So please, be a good citizen and report her to the police. She must not be allowed to jeopardize your job, because with John’s track record, I have a strong hunch you’re going to need it to support yourself and your child. Please don’t wait to make that call.
…
Dear Abby: My mother- in-law, “Sally,” is a pack rat. The items she is willing to part with, she donates to the local thrift store where I volunteer. Because Sally cannot stand to feel as if she is being wasteful by throwing her tattered and broken belongings away, she unloads them on the thrift shop in the hope that someone else will be able to find a use for them.
Because Sally usually drops her items off in the community drop-off box, we are obligated to sort through all the items. Most of hers wind up in the garbage, wasting the time the volunteers could be spending on other tasks that would be more beneficial to the shop.
Abby, what is the polite way to inform my mother- in-law that her donations are no longer wanted?
– Anonymous
Dear Anonymous: The first thing to do would be to send a generic letter to Sally – and the rest of your list of donors – stating that the thrift shop can accept only “gently worn” items and appliances that are still in working condition. Many thrift shops do this as a matter of course.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
