“I want the monkey.”
“No! I want the monkey.”
“Then I want the dragonfly.”
“Fine, then I get the yellow bird.”
Though I feigned distress at my daughters’ arguing, secretly I was delighted. At issue was which of the eight nature prints I just framed would hang outside their bedrooms.
When I started this art project, everyone in my family, including the dogs, moaned and rolled their eyes. They anticipated the pain, inconvenience and lousy dinners that usually accompany my home-improvement efforts.
My project started after a close brush with public humiliation spurred a task I’d put off five years — changing the art in the upstairs hall. The outgoing art, four stylized flowers imprinted on vertical pieces of composite board, hung on the wall facing my daughters’ bedrooms. The wall has four large (2 by 5 feet), recessed art niches, a detail some clever builder thought would break up the space, but that pressures homeowners.
Niches grab you by the collar and say, “Look at me! I’m all about showcasing your art, so hang something fabulous here!”
Succumbing to niche pressure, I hastily bought the flower art right after moving in. Though the pieces were the right size, color and price, I broke Rule 1 of art buying: You gotta love it.
Regret grew. When giving visitors a tour, I’d wave my hand dismissively and say, “And these are going.”
The clincher came while I was getting takeout at a local Japanese restaurant, one known for food, not decor. My daughter said, “Look, Mom! They have the same art we do.”
Yikes! On the wall, sandwiched between sumo wrestler posters, hung the same four bad pictures. This felt like finding out the girl at school with the unibrow and the chest hair had the same dress you did. I got home and, with the urgency of an ambulance, dispatched the art to the garage.
Like nature, niches hate a vacuum, so I felt pressured again to find new art. I scoured catalogs and websites. I found a set I liked, but it had only three prints. (I needed four or, if I put two in each niche, eight.) I found eight the right size, color and motif, but the price almost triggered an aneurysm. If I’m going to drop a bundle on art, I’m hanging it publicly, not in the upstairs hall.
I spotted the solution in a magazine — a bedroom wall featuring framed squares of vintage wallpaper. Ding! I’d frame my own art.
I could frame old magazine covers, calendar pages, photos of leaves, postcards of places I’ve traveled to, pictures from storybooks my kids loved, pieces of an antique map, even unpaid parking tickets.
Inspired, I went to the bookstore and found a series of Dover Pictura art books filled with beautiful color illustrations and CDs with which to import them. I snagged the flora and fauna book. Untamed nature seemed a fitting theme for outside the girls’ rooms.
Back home, I taped pages I liked to the wall, fussed with combinations and chalked in frame sizes. That’s when the eye rolling started.
I printed images that I liked on archival-quality paper. At Michael’s craft store I found solid wood frames, flat black with pre-cut mats and glass, and for only $8 each. Score! Because the black looked too pedestrian, I bought antique bronze paint to rag on and add dimension.
That night, fortified with a dinner of dark chocolate and strong coffee, I turned my dining room table into Frames-R-Me. I dismantled the frames and rubbed paint on the wood with terrycloth. As I placed the art under the mat, my 12-year-old stopped by and sounding stunned said, “They look so professional.” I puffed up like a kid with a bee allergy.
That’s when the fighting broke out. The 15-year-old came on scene.
“I want the monkey.”
“No, I want the monkey.”
At last, one of my neurotic projects gets the respect it deserves.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo). You may contact her through .
Art smarts
According to Kelly Jaycox, wall decor buyer for the Atlanta home furnishings and accessories business Ballard Designs, here’s what you should know when choosing or creating an art grouping.
Flexibility. A set of unified prints often costs less than a large piece and is more versatile. You can arrange sets in grids, side by side, up and down, or flanking a mirror.
Placement. Small-scale prints work well in intimate spaces like hallways and powder rooms. Tight quarters don’t allow enough distance to appreciate larger pieces.
Motif. Fit the location. Put pictures of food in kitchens, maps in studies, wine labels in bars, wild animals in kids’ areas.
Rules. Images should share a theme, like all photos of umbrellas or watercolor scenes of France. Frames should match and not be bulky. Hang them meticulously. Grids allow no room for forgiveness. More advanced decorators can break the rules a bit, says Jaycox. For instance, they might use frames of the same color but different textures or finishes.
Mix. Jaycox encourages clients to layer framed art with other wall decor such as mirrors, shelves or corbels.
Do it yourself. Creating your own art lets you express your passions and can be much cheaper than ready-made sets. Here’s what mine cost: Dover Art Book with CD, $40; eight frames with mats and glass, $64; antique bronze paint, $8; archival paper, $6. Total $118, which is less than $15 per piece. Cheaper art you’d have to steal.
