Dear Amy: I live in a very small resort town and work for a major hotel.
In the last couple months, our general manager has made abusive comments to me and six female co-workers.
These matters were brought up to the human resources department. He was reprimanded.
Recently, I was at our local bar, and it was brought to my attention that this same man is now coming on to other women in town who have no interest in him.
I hear he is showing very aggressive behavior.
The one woman I have spoken to wants to take action against him.
My question is, should I tell her to contact our human resources department? — Anonymous
Dear Anonymous: From your account, it sounds as if your company has dealt with this person’s unacceptable professional behavior to your satisfaction.
Being a jerk, coming on to women in town, or acting obnoxiously — or even aggressively — isn’t necessarily a matter for your company’s human resources department to handle.
On the other hand, if your GM’s behavior starts to affect business, he definitely is a problem your company will want to try to manage.
If this man assaulted the woman you spoke to, she should call the police.
Dear Amy: I really need a woman’s perspective on this annoying habit that some women seem to have of calling other women (and sometimes men) “Honey,” “Hon,” “Dear” or “Sweetie.”
What is up with this? Some of these women are younger than I am!
I want to say to them, “I’m not your ‘Honey, Sweetie, Hon or Dear.’ Please stop calling me that.”
I know this sounds rude, so I’m wondering if you can suggest something better. — Disgusted Diner
Dear Disgusted: A cool but polite response to this would be, “I’m Elaine. I’d rather you not call me ‘Hon.’ “
To receive some perspective on this issue, I sought the expertise of Judy, my favorite waitress at my regular dining spot.
Judy is a “Hon,” “Sweetie” and “Dear” sort of person, and I happen to like that about her.
Judy admitted that she’s trying to break herself of the “Hon” habit. She is aware that some people don’t like to be addressed this way.
“I’ve been telling myself that if you call everybody ‘Hon’ and ‘Sweetie,’ it means you’ve been a waitress too long,” she said.
Dear Amy: I want to comment on the letter from “Inconceivable.”
Inconceivable was confused about why her husband didn’t want to submit to fertility testing. I think your observation was dead-on: He didn’t want to have kids. I know,because at one time in my life I was that man.
My wife and I got married way too early, when we were still in our teens.
I tried to back out of the relationship before the marriage, but her tears, along with pressure from her parents had us tying the knot when we shouldn’t have.
Being born-again Christians, I figured we were going to be together for life, whether I wanted to be or not.
I was unable or unwilling to resolve the truth of the situation, which was that I just didn’t love her.
My feelings were revealed in my unwillingness to have children.
Years later, the truth emerged, and we are now cheerfully apart. — Alone and Happy
Dear Alone: The issue of having children is the most important one a couple will face during their life together. Both parties’ priorities have to be taken into account, and couples have to accept their partner’s choice — or ambivalence — about children.
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