Patience is a plus. A good sense of humor helps, as does a kind nature. But the true mark of a great dad, says Scott Binder, is the ability to simply be present.
Binder, the former senior vice president of Comcast’s Mile High region, is one of four men named Father of the Year by the American Diabetes Association and the Fathers’ Day Council. Binder — the father of three children, ages 10, 19 and 22 — this fall starts his new job as chief executive of Denver-based FCC Services, which provides credit counseling to farms.
“I joke that I used to envy my kids around the end of May every year when school was about out,” says Binder with a laugh. “Now the roles are reversed. I don’t start until September, and they’re working. I plan to use that time to have some fun with them, though.”
Q: What are some of those fun things you enjoy doing with your kids?
A: You have to find something that you both commonly enjoy. My kids all like very different things. My son was a sports fan, so we went to a lot of games together. My oldest daughter loved swimming and running, so triathlons were our bond. With our little girl, it’s skiing.
Q: So is spending individual time with your children important to you?
A: It’s incredibly important. We have great family time, but my wife, Teresa, and I believe one child with one parent is very valuable, especially when they hit those teenage years. A deep conversation isn’t going to happen in five minutes when they’re grabbing food from the kitchen, but it will when you spend hours climbing a mountain together.
Q: You’ve been a businessman for many years, and must have put in some long hours at the office. Any words of advice for other fathers with demanding careers?
A: A busy career will eat you up if you allow it to. You have to make family a priority. God knows I wasn’t perfect, and often I spent too much time at work. But I recognized that and worked to fix it. You have to be as disciplined at spending time with family as you are at working. More, in fact.
Q: You have one who just graduated from high school, and one who will soon graduate college. What’s it like parenting as they get older?
A: Someone I once worked with had great advice on that. Your ability to fix their problems diminishes as they get older, and that’s terribly difficult because your natural instinct is to protect them from all problems. If they scrape their knee when they’re young, you can fix that with a Band-Aid. When they’re older and you see them about to make a mistake, you have to learn to let that happen. In many cases, they’ll learn a lot more from making the mistake than they would have if you stopped them.
Q: Did you have a strong relationship with your own father?
A: I had a really different upbringing from most kids. I was spoiled with attention. My mom and dad were 45 and 52 when I was born. I was fortunate to be raised by people who had lived a good part of their life and knew who they were. They were calm and mature. The downside of having older parents was that my father died before I had kids, so I didn’t have him to lean on. He would have offered guidance.
Q: Without that guidance, how did you learn to be a good dad?
A: You learn along the way. I think I’m a better parent later in life. When we were younger parents, we wanted our kids to grow up too quickly. It was a race; we wanted them to walk and talk and throw a ball early. I’m much more patient now. I want my youngest to stay small. I want to enjoy her.
Q: So being a dad for the first two helps you with the youngest?
A: Absolutely. I wish we’d been like this then. We have a better sense of what battles to pick and when to let her do things. And I think we take everything much less personally, whether she does something well, or she makes a mistake. They each have their own free will. I guess that I’ve learned how to really enjoy my kids, the older I get. I truly enjoy being a dad.
