OK, so Alabama-LSU Part Deux isn’t exactly “The Godfather: Part II.” It’s not “Nightmare on Bourbon Street” either. Still, if you’re angry at the Bowl Championship Series, cut through the ill-conceived BCS bowls like they’re bean dip and dig into some others. The bowl season kicks off Saturday with Temple vs. Wyoming in the New Mexico Bowl. It ends Jan. 9 with Alabama-LSU in a rematch for the BCS title. (Note: All times MST. Rankings represent the final BCS standings.)
Buy Times Square-worthy flat screen bowls
BCS TITLE GAME | NEW ORLEANS, JAN. 9, 6:30 P.M.
No. 2 Alabama (11-1) vs. No. 1 LSU (13-0)
So you won’t watch this because the first meeting produced no touchdowns? Because Alabama had its chance? Your loss. Watch “SVU” reruns and read the next day how one offensive coordinator finally found the key against one of the greatest defenses in modern college history. We just don’t know which one.
ROSE | PASADENA, CALIF., JAN. 2, 3 P.M.
No. 10 Wisconsin (11-2) vs. No. 5 Oregon (11-2)
If the Badgers had trouble with Texas Christian’s speed on defense in last season’s Rose Bowl, wait until they see Oregon’s speed on offense. Nothing in the Big Ten matches Oregon’s skill positions.
FIESTA | GLENDALE, ARIZ., JAN. 2, 6:30 P.M.
No. 4 Stanford (11-1) vs. No. 3 Okla. St. (11-1)
Enjoy a captivating aerial battle between the No. 1 pick in the 2012 NFL draft (Andrew Luck) and Oklahoma State’s senior citizen (Brandon Weeden).
Better than holiday shopping bowls
COTTON | ARLINGTON, TEXAS, JAN. 6, 6 P.M.
No. 8 Kansas St. (10-2) vs. No. 6 Arkansas (10-2)
The only good news about Kansas State getting the royal shaft by the BCS bowls is we get a whale of a game. Arkansas’ lone loss in its last eight games was to LSU.
CAPITAL ONE | ORLANDO, FLA., JAN. 2, 11 A.M.
No. 20 Nebraska (9-3) vs. No. 9 S. Carolina (10-2)
The Ol’ Ball Coach still knows a thing or two about quarterbackin’. Since Steve Spurrier replaced problem child Stephen Garcia with sophomore Connor Shaw, South Carolina has gone 6-1.
SUN | EL PASO, DEC. 31, NOON
Georgia Tech (8-4) vs. Utah (7-5)
Utah, coming off a loss to Colorado, puts its seventh-ranked rush defense (97.0 yards per game) against Tech’s third-ranked rushing offense (316.8).
HAWAII | HONOLULU, DEC. 24, 6 P.M.
Southern Mississippi (11-2) vs. Nevada (7-5)
Got to love Hawaii. Great weather. Great beaches. Great offenses. Nevada’s No. 5 offense vs. Southern Miss’ No. 13. Enjoy the fireworks.
ARMED FORCES | DALLAS, DEC. 30, 10 A.M.
Brigham Young (9-3) vs. Tulsa (8-4)
Yes, every time Tulsa steps up in class, it gets crushed. The average score of Tulsa’s losses to winning teams is 49-21. If you hate LSU-Alabama, you might like this.
MILITARY | WASHINGTON, DEC. 28, 2:30 P.M.
Toledo (8-4) vs. Air Force (7-5)
Toledo tailback Adonis Thomas averages 107 yards per game for the eighth-most prolific offense in the country.
POINSETTIA | SAN DIEGO, DEC. 21, 6 P.M.
Louisiana Tech (8-4) vs. No. 18 TCU (10-2)
TCU felt it deserved a BCS bowl. The Horned Frogs are jumping to the Big 12, where winning 24 consecutive league games gets you a much bigger payday.
NEW MEXICO | ALBUQUERQUE, SATURDAY, NOON
Temple (8-4) vs. Wyoming (8-4)
Two up-and-coming programs. Wyoming freshman QB Brett Smith has rejuvenated a moribund offense. Temple’s Bernard Pierce is the nation’s No. 6 rusher.
| MOBILE, ALA., JAN. 8, 7 P.M.
Arkansas St. (10-2) vs. Northern Illinois (10-3)
Sun Belt vs. MAC? Worth watching? Yes. Arkansas State, picked eighth in the Sun Belt, won nine straight. Northern Illinois won eight straight and has a terrific QB, Chandler Harnish.
Worse than entertaining ma-in-law bowls
BBVA COMPASS | BIRMINGHAM, ALA., JAN. 7, 10 A.M.
Pittsburgh (6-6) vs. Southern Methodist (7-5)
The only teams SMU beat since Oct. 16 were Tulane and Rice. But the Mustangs are in their third consecutive bowl game.
CHICK-FIL-A | ATLANTA, DEC. 31, 5:30 P.M.
Virginia (8-4) vs. No. 25 Auburn (7-5)
Coach Gene Chizik did well with Auburn considering what his defending national champions lost. Still, his team stumbles into Atlanta having been blown out by LSU, Georgia and Alabama in recent weeks.
LIBERTY | MEMPHIS, TENN., DEC. 31, 1:30 P.M.
Cincinnati (9-3) vs. Vanderbilt (6-6)
Vandy lost six of its last nine, and Cincinnati is in, well, the Big East. Yuk.
MUSIC CITY | NASHVILLE, TENN., DEC. 30, 4:40 P.M.
Wake Forest (6-6) vs. Mississippi State (6-6)
The only team with a winning record that the Bulldogs beat was Louisiana Tech, and Wake was drubbed by Vanderbilt 41-7.
LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA | DETROIT, DEC. 27, 2:30 P.M.
Purdue (6-6) vs. Western Michigan (7-5)
(Insert Detroit cheap shot here. There are no original ones.) Purdue hasn’t been to a bowl in four years, so it won’t mind boarded-up factories and rotten weather.
NEW ORLEANS | NEW ORLEANS, SATURDAY, 7 P.M.
San Diego St. (8-4) vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (8-4)
This is Louisiana-Lafayette’s first bowl game since losing to Tennessee State in the 1970 Grantland Rice Bowl. While the Aztecs don’t have the Four Horsemen, star tailback Ronnie Hillman is close enough.
BEEF O’BRADY’S | ST. PETERSBURG, FLA., DEC. 20, 6 P.M.
Marshall (6-6) vs. Florida International (8-4)
Marshall had to go into overtime against East Carolina to make this bowl. But it does have a terrific defensive player: Vinny Curry (second nationally in tackles for loss at 21.5).
FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO | BOISE, IDAHO, SATURDAY, 3:30 P.M.
Ohio (9-4) vs. Utah State (7-5)
How lame is the MAC? The title game winner earns a trip to Detroit, and the loser plays in the freezing Famous Idaho Potato Bowl.
Lame duck bowls
FIGHT HUNGER | SAN FRANCISCO, DEC. 31, 1:30 P.M.
UCLA (6-7) vs. Illinois (6-6)
How ironic that two teams whose coaches lost their jobs meet in a bowl that fights hunger? UCLA gets the honor of being the first sub-.500 bowl team in 10 years. The Illini are on a six-game losing streak.
MEINKE CAR CARE | HOUSTON, DEC. 31, 10 A.M.
Texas A&M (6-6) vs. Northwestern (6-6)
Texas A&M goes 6-6 and coach Mike Sherman gets fired. Northwestern goes 6-6 and coach Pat Fitzgerald is more popular around Chicago than Lovie Smith.
Sitting duck bowls
ALAMO | SAN ANTONIO, DEC. 29, 7 P.M.
Washington (7-5) vs. Baylor (9-3)
Baylor QB Robert Griffin III, the most exciting player in the country, goes against Washington’s 99th-ranked scoring defense (allowing 33.3 points per game).
MAACO | LAS VEGAS, DEC. 22, 6 P.M.
Arizona State (6-6) vs. Boise State (11-1)
You’re an ASU Sun Devil. You’ve lost your last four. You’ve lost your coach. You’re in Vegas. Boise State QB Kellen Moore will light up the Silver Bowl like the Flamingo Hilton sign.
No, not you again bowls
GATOR | JACKSONVILLE, FLA., JAN. 2, 11 A.M.
Florida (6-6) vs. Ohio State (6-6)
Urban Meyer will be a sideline observer watching the team of his past play the team of his future.
INSIGHT | TEMPE, ARIZ., DEC. 30, 8 P.M.
Iowa (7-5) vs. No. 14 Oklahoma (9-3)
Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops coaches against his alma mater, a school so close to his family’s heart that his father was buried in an Iowa jersey. Landry Jones, the nation’s No. 3-ranked passer, goes against Iowa’s No. 75 pass-efficiency defense.
CHAMPS SPORTS | ORLANDO, FLA., DEC. 29, 3:30 P.M.
Notre Dame (8-4) vs. Florida State (8-4)
Back when the NCAA had FSU on speed dial, this was often billed as Good vs. Evil. Today, the teams’ second-year coaches are making strides back to legitimacy.
Why bowls
ORANGE | MIAMI, JAN. 4, 6 P.M.
No. 23 W. Va. (9-3) vs. No. 15 Clemson (10-3)
Eleven teams are ranked ahead of West Virginia yet play in lesser bowls. The good news for BCS haters is the joy of watching Clemson beat up the undeserving Mountaineers.
SUGAR | NEW ORLEANS, JAN. 3, 6 P.M.
No. 13 Michigan (10-2) vs. No. 11 Va. Tech (11-2)
Big Blue’s name got Michigan this $15 million BCS invite despite not even winning its Big Ten division.
BELK | CHARLOTTE, N.C., DEC. 27, 6 P.M.
Louisville (7-5) vs. North Carolina State (7-5)
What is a Belk? It’s a Charlotte-based retail company with stores all over the South. Now, why do you care?
Beat it bowls
TICKET CITY | DALLAS, JAN. 2, 10 A.M.
No. 22 Penn St. (9-3) vs. No. 19 Houston (12-1)
Penn State has become the bubonic plague of college football. And coach Kevin Sumlin ditched Houston for Texas A&M on Saturday.
INDEPENDENCE | SHREVEPORT, LA., DEC. 26, 3 P.M.
Missouri (7-5) vs. North Carolina (7-5)
No doubt some stoic Big 12 official will be sentenced to Shreveport for Missouri’s Big 12 swan song before it heads to the SEC.
Culture shock bowl
PINSTRIPE | NEW YORK, DEC. 30, 1:30 P.M.
Iowa State (6-6) vs. Rutgers (8-4)
The Cyclones really are going to Yankee Stadium. Coach Paul Rhoads just hopes his players aren’t down 28-0 and still looking at the upper deck muttering, “Hold a lotta hay.”
Consolation bowl
OUTBACK | TAMPA, FLA., JAN. 2, 11 A.M.
No. 17 Mich. St. (10-3) vs. No. 16 Georgia (10-3)
Both teams lost their league championship game, which shouldn’t discredit a contest pitting two of the nation’s top five defenses.
Revenge bowl
HOLIDAY| SAN DIEGO, DEC. 28, 6 P.M.
No. 24 Texas (7-5) vs. California (7-5)
Cal fans remember seven years ago when Texas coach Mack Brown lobbied BCS voters, who nudged the Longhorns into the Rose Bowl, denying Cal its first trip since 1959. It’s payback time.
