. Kissy Suzuki (“You Only Live Twice”). Fatima Blush (“Never Say Never Again”). Jenny Flex (“A View to a Kill”).
The names are almost too uncreative even for contemporary X-rated movies made in the San Fernando Valley. Even Bond blushes saying them out loud:
Mary Goodnight (“The Man With the Golden Gun”). Dr. Molly Warmflash (“The World is not Enough”). Sylvia Trench (“Dr. No”). .
Could they be any more juvenile? Any more ridiculous? Any more obnoxious? Yes, they could:
Holly Goodhead (“Moonraker”). Penelope Smallbone (“Octopussy”). Chew Mee (“The Man with the Golden Gun”).
— the Bond Girl is a cultural icon, and actresses from Jill St. John (“Diamonds Are Forever”) to to Michelle Yeoh (“Tomorrow Never Dies”) have clamored to play her. Sometimes she plays a big role, sometimes a bit part, trying to kiss 007, in one frame, kill him in the next.
The more recent Bond Girls have less-appalling monikers (in “Skyfall” the lead female characters are simply called Eve and Sévérine). Is the Bond franchise growing out of adolescence?
Perhaps. But one thing won’t change: From the start, the central question surrounding James Bond’s character (forgetting for a moment his unique ability to save the planet) has been: “Will he finally meet his match?”
He’s come close many times. Pussy Galore, portrayed by was no pushover. Neither was Solitaire, or May Day, played by or Jinx Johnson, played by Halle Berry “Die Another Day” (2002).
All gave him a run, but none were quite able to bring down Bond — or sew him up.
Vesper Lynd came closest. Aficionados consider her Bond’s only true love (and the namesake of his original favored drink before switching to a vodka martini). She was played most recently by and nearly succeeded in taking Bond off the market.
But fate intervened. It had to. Because in the end, Bond’s favorite girl is, and always will be, Miss Moneypenny.
Tucker Shaw: 303-954-1958, tshaw@denverpost.com or twitter.com/tucker_shaw
