We have a new policy in this space: Keep it short.
Brevity beats longevity. Terse is not worse.
This decision comes after reading a report. It’s a study by the NCBI.
What is the NCBI? It’s too long to spell out here.
NCBI says our focus skills are getting shorter. Focus skills were once called “attention span.” But “focus skills” sounds cooler.
What’s the report say? Our average focus skills last only eight seconds. That’s down from 12 seconds in 2000. That’s one-third.
People measure this stuff? The NCBI is a federal agency of some kind. It’s your tax dollars at work. Take it seriously.
I blame Twitter, or tweeting. Kids only get 140 characters. They have to be brief. So they have to say things like IMO and LOL. (I had to look up what IMO meant.)
I can’t tweet. I’m all thumbs.
So how does eight seconds compare? For instance, what about people in Bali, or Mali?
We don’t know. But the NCBI says a goldfish can focus for nine seconds. That’s longer than us. Maybe it’s something in the water. LOL!
TV should reconsider those 30-second sound bites on the news. Sorry, but too long. Should be eight seconds max. If a pol says, “I assure the American people that … ” — cut! That’s enough.
Those laugh tracks on sitcoms? Reduce “ha-ha” to “ha.”
Cable news shows get it right. They have three people talking — or yelling — at once. Saves time.
The ratings for the Oscars telecast this year were down. Why? Speeches by the winners were too long. Political and social causes of the winners need short titles. “Fight AIDS” is OK. But not “The Elimination of Children’s Hunger in Kabitzustan.” Way too long. Viewers change channel.
Sports are starting to catch on. Baseball teams have new rules to shorten the time of games. Eight seconds between pitches would be fine. Seven better.
Football teams now have “hurry-up” offenses. No huddles. Huddles are boooring.
Now, Peyton just yells “Omaha!” and we get action. Notice, he never shouts “San Bernardino!” or “St. Petersburg!”
Church attendance is down, too. It would increase if sermons were shorter. Why not just “Do not sin! See you next Sunday”?
The business world understands. Successful ones called Speedy-something, Jiffy- or Quick. Quick is good. But Quik is even better.
Restaurants no longer have “waiters.” They are now “servers.”
Best name ever for a hotel: Ed’s Beds. Bingo!
The only thing that never gets shorter: the lines at the DMV. Maybe that’s part of the test. Would we doze off while driving?
Nonsense. We can drive and talk on a cellphone, too — while drinking coffee and combing hair.
“Sorry, officer, but I was just multi-tasking.”
NCBI should study multi-tasking. What’s the world’s record? Are we better than goldfish?
Hold on. Have you been checking your e-mail for the last six paragraphs?
I understand.
I have to scope out my Skype Qik. Or is it skype out my Scope?
Dick Hilker (dhilker529@aol.com) of Arvada is a retired Denver suburban newspaper editor and columnist. He also is an avid reader of reports by the National Center of Biotechnology Information.
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